Back in the Rock

Thought I Had a Bad Week

2010-11-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

Thought I was having a really bad week. Some people have said some not-very-nice things about me. My feelings have been deeply hurt...and it's kind of hard to hurt my feelings.

A girl I went to summer camp with for years turned 40 today and also found out the tumor in her breast is malignant. Her mother died of breast cancer when we were about 13.

Another friend has lost much of what he owns to a fire.

A church member is in the hospital getting fluid drained off of his heart and having dialysis so that his body can continue to function.

I still own my bad week. Even if you can name 100 people who are worse off than you are, it doesn't mean that what is happening to you doesn't hurt or isn't difficult. But being present to what is happening around you and what is going on with other people instead of retreating into your own trauma/drama sure does make a difference.

Words to Live By

2010-08-09T20:10:00.000-07:00

I have not been an avid blogger as of late. I have had a wonderful opportunity o write a weekly column that appears in several papers in the Little Rock area. Between coming up with ideas for a sermon and a column each week, my blog well has been running dry.

However, tonight, after doing some cleaning out in my house, I found a notebook that I kept in my twenties to collect quotes that I liked--from people I know, from people on tv, from movies, etc. I share some of them here.

The worst moment in an athiest's life is the moment when he is thankful but has no one to thank. --unkown

If you want to be your own person, learn to think for yourself. If you want an "A" in the class, learn to think like the professor. --Anne Russ

There are three things I have always loved and never understood--music, art and women. --Le Bovier de Fontenelle

I'm trying to find myself. I don't know what that means, but by parents are buying it, so I'm sticking with that. --Russ Gorman following our freshman year of college

Never eat anything orange, unless it is an orange, a carrot or a sweet potato. --Anne Russ

It's been my experience that no matter where you go, there you are. --Suzanne Sugarbaker

Why is easy listening so hard to listen to?--random comedian

Men learn to love the women they're attracted to and women become attracted to the men they love--Andie McDowell

If you have a college degree, you can be certain of one thing. You have a college degree. --Dr. Robert Anthony

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine a marriage and a career. --Gloria Steinham (she said this 30 years ago and it still stands today!)

Nobody is happy all the time. If we were, we wouldn't be human, we'd be game show hosts.--Winona Rider in Heathers

Beware of men who cry. It's true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be in touch with or sensitive to are their own.--Nora Ephron

According the Washington Post, Dan Quayle thinks Roe vs Wade are alternate ways of crossing the Ptomac.--A. Whitney Brown

Prejudice is the most ridiculous thing on earth. There are so many good reasons to hate people on an individual basis. -J.J. Wall

And my personal fav:

Life is kind to people who aren't cursed with self-awareness--Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham

Buy Something July

2010-07-10T16:21:00.000-07:00

Now that we're back in buying mode (and considering re-imposing the ban), daughter has bought her first pair of vintage shoes. She got a good deal on them because the shop owner was having a difficult time finding someone with feet that small. They are great pair of black boots, circa 1960-something. People must have had smaller feet back then, because hers are little.

Her comment on vintage/re-sale clothing? "It's like hand-me-downs that you pay for." And we talked about how buying "gently worn" clothes makes for good stewardship as well as good fashion sense.

I am enjoying my upgraded I-pod. My workouts are better and longer. My house is cleaner. And I am generally more relaxed this week than I have been since the old one quit. When I start to get distressed by how dependent I am on an I-pod, I just put on my headphones and listen to the latest podcast of This American Life. I even sent them a donation when I realized what a calming effect the voice of Ira Glass has on me. I need to help keep them on the air.

Last Day of Buy Nothing June

2010-06-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it. Not sure how much of a lasting impression it will make on the daughter. She is already planning everything she wants to buy. And to be fair, I will be at Best Buy tomorrow to obtain a new I-pod and cannot wait. In many ways, Buy-Nothing-June been a nice break, and we all feel good about the donation to the World Wildlife Federation. In other ways, it hasn't been easy.

For me, in spite of a lovely break in Oklahoma with friends, June has been a really hard month. I have been surprised to realize how often after a bad day or a bad experience, that the idea of buying something to make myself feel better crops into my head. And how it just made the day worse to realize that I couldn't buy something. I don't think of myself as a "shopalholic" nor do I spend a lot of my time shopping, but apparently, I do turn to consumerist activities for comfort from time to time. It's never a major purchase--a kitchen gadget, a fun t-shirt from Target, a new pair of shoes--but I hadn't realized before June how often I "comfort shop". I actually almost caved after an incident yesterday, but realized that nothing I could buy would make my hurt feelings any better.

I haven't been able to turn to food for comfort either, as I am trying to drop some extra pounds. So without consumerism or food to turn to for comfort, I was forced to up-level my prayer life. I have to say that prayer does not give me the instant gratification of a pound bag of almond m and m's or a new pair of shoes, but its effects are much longer lasting and build over time.

Now if I can only remember this as we move in to July and beyond.

Buy Nothing June Marches On

2010-06-14T13:47:00.002-07:00

In spite of my I-pod withdrawal, I am actually enjoying buy-nothing-June. It's nice to go somewhere with daughter and not have to go through "can I have? can I have? can we buy? can we get?" I'm not sure yet how we will transition back into the "buying" months and still maintain some of the restraint we have shown this month. We may need to strictly define what she needs to pay for out of allowance and for what we will foot the bill. Although, now that she's moving into tween-ville, those lines get even more blurred.

We have had to stretch a couple of times over and above the I-pod incident. Our two porches are in dire need of a power wash, but a hose down will have to do for now. Skip has had to give up his Saturday scratch ticket ritual. Daughter is pretty low on summer clothes now that school uniform time is over, so I have do laundry more often to make sure she has something clean to wear. I may be sporting a more natural look as the month wears on and my make-up supply runs out. At the risk of TMI, I am sloughing off summer skin with a homemade concoction of sugar and olive oil because my body scrub ran out a week ago. For the good of the family, I did purchase some heavy-duty hair conditioner to keep the tangles out of tender-headed daughter's sun and chlorine damaged hair. I decided that was a necessity.

I wish I could somehow tabulate the amount of time I have gotten back these last two weeks by not stopping here and there to pick up this and that. Add to that the time saved by not looking through sales flyers or e-mail specials, and I may gain a whole day of my life back in this one month.

Money saved. Time saved. Must remember this. Daughter has decided that the money saved this month should go to the World Wildlife Fund to help save endangered species.

Buy

2010-06-14T13:47:00.001-07:00

Buy

2010-06-14T13:47:00.000-07:00

Oil Spill Influenced Dream

2010-06-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

I had a weird dream last night I can only attribute to all the damage done by the BP oil spill. I've been following all the damage that oil spill is and will be doing and reflecting on how my own dependence on fossil fuel helped contribute to this disaster. Skip and I have already decided that when I am ready to move on from my 2003 Toyota Matrix, we will replace it with an electric car. I have just been wondering how much abuse our earth can take before we completely destroy her.

So last night I had this dream. We were in our house, but it didn't look like our house. It was worn out and dilapidated. And all the houses in our Wisteria-Lane-look-a-like neighborhood looked the same way. Almost like an abandoned neighborhood, but everyone was still living here. In real life, we have a dining room table that we bought when we first got married and it's a little worse for the wear, but we really like it. In the dream, that table completely collapsed and we needed to replace it. So my husband and I had a very calm, reasonable conversation about whether or not we should spend the money on a new table when it was likely that the earth would not be able to sustain human life for very much longer. Did we really need a new table or could we make do without one until the world came to an end? About that time, I woke up, so I don't know what we decided about the table.

I think we all have this idea that even with all the talk of climate change and pollution, the earth will continue to absorb all of the abuse for many, many years to come. But if we keep causing these massive disasters, we're going to speed up the destruction. Mother earth can only take so much. Hoping for better dreams tonight. Last night's was a little too creepy.

Wouldn't You Know it?

2010-06-10T07:22:00.001-07:00

Just 8 days into Buy-Nothing-June, my I-pod dies. Gone. No coming back. It is a testament to the Apple brand that it has lasted this long. It's old school--a third generation Nano. I've had it for two-and-a-half years and have long since gotten my money's worth.

Of course, it is ironic that in an effort to curb my daughter's addiction to buying, I am now having to face my I-pod addiction. Not too long ago, I misplaced it for awhile and was completely out of sorts without it. I listen to pod-casts of NPR shows while I'm doing house chores. I have music for when I exercise. I listen to audio books while I knit or fold laundry or do rote things like log all the church member's contact info into a new database program (still no church secretary).

Now exercise is torture. Housework is even more of a drag. Yesterday, my daughter was kind of annoyed that I had the stereo on while I was making dinner. It clashed with her television show (she is loving the tv freedom that comes when school is not in session). I told her she was welcome to turn off the tv at anytime.

So, I suppose, I'll have to get used to more time with my own thoughts running through my head instead of Carl Castle's voice or the latest from the Black Eyed Peas.

Buy Nothing June

2010-06-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

After a long hiatus from this blog, I am back to talk about Buy Nothing June.

Find us on Facebook.

While both my husband and I are certainly guilty of often buying things we don't really need, we declared this consumer-free month to combat our daughter's growing obsession with obtaining more and more things. She has hardly enjoyed the wonderful gifts she received recently for her birthday because she is already looking ahead to what she can buy next. We're not sure how this happened. Skip and I are not big "thing" people. Our spending downfall is experiences--travel and entertainment. Vacations and concerts and theater eat up a lot of money that might be better spent elsewhere. But we have a really good time. :)

We have a great house, but our home is furnished--not decorated. My engagement ring is the only valuable piece of jewelry we own. I have a $10 cell phone. If someone broke in to our house to steal something, they'd be so disappointed by our ten-year-old stereo and square-box 36-inch television, they'd probably spray paint something out of spite. I regularly haul things we aren't using or have outgrown to Goodwill, so we're just not sure where our child got this fixation with stuff and more stuff.

Since she's still too young to send off on a mission trip to Appalachia or Mexico (a great way to gain a little perspective), we thought we'd just put an end to the consuming. She actually cried when I told her. I have a nine-year-old who had a breakdown at the thought of not being able to buy anything for a month. Let's hear it for my parenting skills.

We've told her at the end of the month, she can decide where we will donate the money we have saved by curtailing our spending habits. I hope this month is effective. Otherwise, we may have to send her to the convent. Do they take pre-teen Presbyterians?

Indian Premiere League--Cricket

2010-04-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

This is how they open up a cricket championship game in India. Love it!

Did I mention we have the Cricket Ticket through DirecTV so we don't miss a thing

Is Evian the key?

2010-04-20T06:47:00.000-07:00

My 40th birthday is just around the corner. Should I buy a case today?

Right for all the Wrong Reasons

2010-04-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

The death penalty has been in the news for the last few days here in Arkansas. A couple of cases have been called in to question and executions have been delayed. So it’s got me thinking about the death penalty, and I am against it.

There are a number of good reasons to be against the death penalty:

1. Life is sacred and should be protected at all costs
2. It is an arbitrary punishment. Two people can commit identical crimes and one may be sentenced to death while the other gets life in prison
3. There is no way to take it back if evidence later proves the person was innocent.

So there are lots of legitimate and even admirable reasons to be against the death penalty. Alas, my reasons may be as legitimate, but perhaps not very admirable.

I am against the death penalty because the people who receive it are the very worst example of humankind. They have destroyed not only the lives of the people they killed, but often the lives of everyone who ever loved their victim(s). The ripple effect of the destruction that occurs in the commission of a violent crime is impossible to measure.

But I also believe in a loving and merciful God. I believe that there is nothing that we can do that can separate us from the love of God. I don’t believe that heaven will be my home because of anything I have done, but because of what God has done through Jesus Christ. I believe that everyone, no matter what s/he has done, has the opportunity to receive forgiveness from God.

God is all loving and forgiving, but I am not. I think that people who have done irreparable damage to this world should have to hang around this life for a while before they get a shot at the next. Since I’m not a believer in purgatory, I like the idea of some prison-time limbo imposed here on earth. I really want them to have a taste of hell before they get a chance at heaven. Not very admirable or loving or forgiving of me.

I just may be the most mean-spirited anti-death penalty advocate around. I believe it's wrong to kill, but I'm okay with certain people being miserable. Not my best moment, is it?

Box Writing

2010-04-12T05:53:00.000-07:00

My daughter starts taking the Benchmark test today in school. For weeks, they've been preparing for these tests. It seems like everything has revolved around them. And part of the prep has been learning how to write their answers to certain questions inside a box so that the tests can be graded properly. I can't believe I send my child to a learning institution where they are teaching here--training her!--to write inside the box. Drives me absolutely up a wall.

I don't claim to know anything about education, but I can't see the benefit of these standardized tests--other than to provide some statistics for the school districts. I would much rather that she was learning how to solve problems and figuring out new ways of making things work. I supposed my education wasn't much different, but after three years of International school exposure, the world of bubble filling, box writing and endless worksheets just doesn't seem very effective.

Hopefully, her time in Argenta will help counteract this training. I'm pretty sure most of the people who live there don't even know that there is a box--much less how to stay inside the lines.

Why Do I Feel Like GM's story will be the PCUSA story...

2010-03-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

...but without the bailout?

This American Life ran a story this week about the GM Nummi plant closing. It traces why GM--even with the benefit of Japanese manufacturing "secrets"--was still unable to change and survive.

It parallels much of what is happening in the PCUSA (and I'm sure other mainline) churches today.

Resistance to change
Belief that the company would never fold
Too long to obtain the critical mass of leadership who believed change was the answer
Employees who didn't want to take ownership of projects or be responsible for making things better
Lack of support from corporate for divisions who were trying to do things differently

This American Life

If you're reading more than a week after the post, you may need to go to the Previous Stories link and look for Nummi.

My New Fav Song

2010-03-23T18:50:00.001-07:00

Jaron and the Long Road to Love

You know we've all thought this!

Monticello

2010-03-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

Went to Thomas Jefferson's home today. For those of you dealing with home construction or renovation, take comfort in the knowledge that Jefferson took 40 years to complete Monticello because he kept changing his mind! Courtesy of friend Adam's Uncle Paul, we got access to the Dome Room (or the observatory) that only about 200 people a year get to see. The stair case is too narrow to accommodate a large volume of visitors each year, so it is restricted to special guests. And we got to be special today!

Another great part of the visit was the kids' area at the visitors center. They had replicas of all the things you couldn't touch, use or sit on in the real Monticello available for hands-on activity. We got to sit in the chairs, use the polygraph writing machine like the one Jefferson used to copy his many letters and even lie on a replica of his bed!

Skip and Maddie with our guide in the Dome Room

All of us in the Dome Room

At the side entrance of Monticello

Maddie hard at work as a blacksmith

Jefferson was a man of many talents, but we were particularly impressed with his "10 Rules" for life.

Thomas Jefferson's Ten Rules

1. Never put off tomorrow what you can do today.
2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
3. Never spend your money before you have earned it.
4. Never buy what you don't want because it is cheap.
5. Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold.
6. We seldom repent of having eaten too little.
7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
8. How much pain the evils have cost us that never happened.
9. Take things always by the smooth handle.
10. When angry, count ten before you speak, if very angry, count a hundred.

Life and LOST

2010-03-16T16:53:00.001-07:00

I've been really frustrated with the final series of LOST that started in February. This is the season in which the writers are supposed to wrap everything up, to answer all the questions, to finally make it all make sense. But all they've done is created more questions and confusions. I've almost given up on it, but my husband keeps urging me to "keep the faith."

However, the last episode (spoiler alert) was a compelling tale of redemption. All of the characters right now are existing in dual realities. Each episode focuses on one particular character and allows us to see them in life on the island and in life is Oceanic Flight 815. Last week's episode was all about Benjamin Linus. On the island, he has been a leader--a devious one--but a leader nonetheless. In that life, he sacrifices his only daughter in order to save himself. In his parallel life, he is a powerless teacher--still devious. He has a chance to ruin the principal and take his job, but in order to do that he would have to derail the college dreams of his favorite student, Alex (his daughter in the island life dimension). This time, he sacrifices his own dream in order for hers to come true. Now it really didn't answer any of the BIG questions, but it was a nice story. And I almost missed it, because I was looking for answers to the big questions, not a tale of redemption.

It's a good life lesson for me. As I'm trying to make a go of it with this struggling little church, there are still not enough people in the pews or enough money in the bank. I can't seem to delegate out tasks and ministries like I should be doing, and there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day, even though I'm putting in a full-time week on a part-time salary. But instead of looking at the big picture, I should be paying attention to the tales of redemption going on all around this funky little historic church. People are finding a place to call home. People who have had no use for church in the past are starting to think about church differently. People are hearing stories from the Bible they've never heard before. People who have been shut out of churches in the past are finding a place to belong.

The writers of LOST have promised us answers. I'm going to believe them. The people who have kept First Pres going when every other church ditched downtown trust that God has plans for this church in this place. I'm going to believe them, too. I will continue to attempt not to measure success in BIPs (butts in pews), but rather look for DIFs (disciples in formation). It's all about the tales of redemption.

The Lost Has Been Found

2010-03-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

Today, my husband found my I-pod. It had been missing for almost two weeks--even though I knew it was somewhere in the house. I am embarrassed and ashamed to admit how miserable the loss of the I-pod made my life.

The house is a bigger wreck than usual because I hate, hate, hate household chores. Only being able to plug in to the Wicked soundtrack or the latest installment of Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me! makes them even begin to be bearable.

Plus, there is the block-out factor. My daughter doesn't get to watch TV during the week, so on the weekend she becomes a television addict. Glued to cartoons and Nickelodean pre-teen comedies in the playroom off the kitchen whenever she doesn't have something else going on. And my uber-sports fan of a husband keeps the television in the bedroom bouncing around between American football (okay, I know that's over for now), international soccer and cricket. My I-pod is often my only escape from the television noise of our weekend life, barring leaving the premises.

It has been an almost Herculean effort to exercise without music blasting between my ears. I bet my muscle-tone has already diminished and my BMI has increased by at least 2 points in the last 10 days.

I know what you're thinking. It's not a good sign that being left alone with my thoughts has just about driven me crazy, but it's really not as bad as it sounds. There are times when I can be silent and open to how my mind is working and what God may be trying to tell me--but only when I can really be silent. I do that in my car or on those rare occasions when I'm home alone or am up (like tonight) after everyone else is asleep or before they wake up in the morning.

I realize that everyone's lives are chaotic. But some of us deal with that chaos better than others. Trying to juggle being an urban pastor and a suburban mom overwhelms me quite frequently. Very rarely do I get the chance to go on silent retreat. But I can plug in those headphones and block out everything else for a period of time while I fold laundry or mop floors and not answer the phone or check e-mails. Quite often a three-minute Christine Kane song does me a lot more good than a three-minute prayer. I'm hoping God is okay with that. I suspect she is.

Facebook Interaction

2010-03-10T14:38:00.000-08:00

Below is a friend's post and my reply to that post and another person's reply to my reply. I guess those 90 graduate seminary hours and almost 10 years in the ministry just haven't done it for me. Cracks me up!

Christy Cox Slyby "A womans heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek him first to find her." Author Unknown
about an hour ago · Comment · Like
Derrick Templeton likes this.

Derrick Templeton Love that! (tear)
about an hour ago

Anne Russ I take issue with this. Why would anyone's heart be "hidden" in Christ? And so many people find Jesus through other people (a recent poll suggests that 75 percent of new Christians came to Christ through a friend or relative) that a man is much more likely to find Him because of a woman than he is to find a woman because of Jesus. It's good for a greeting card, but it's not very good theology. Aren't you glad I'm your friend? My arms hurt.
about an hour ago ·

Christy Cox Slyby Anne, you make me laugh.
42 minutes ago

Robin Lindsey Butler I sooo love this!!!@ Anne..as you grow in your knowledge of Christ..this statement will make more sense to you!!!
11 minutes ago

The Devil is in the Stained Glass

2010-03-10T03:59:00.001-08:00

Wow. I've really let this go. Been a very busy Lenten season. Not so much because it's Lent, but because it's been busy.

There's a big hole in the hand-painted, valued-at-$350,000 stained glass window in the sanctuary at church. Actually the whole window is bowing in and is in danger of collapsing out into the street. We have one grant to hep with repairs in the sanctuary, but it's not enough, so we're using that grant to (hopefully) leverage another one. But we won't know about the grant until June, so we're going to have to board up the window to protect it until then. And to add to the whole deal, we have to sign an easement over to the historical society giving the grant. Shouldn't be a big deal, but since the Presbytery owns our property, they have to sign off on the whole thing--which, of course, makes it all a big deal.

So here's the thing. I'm am coming to hate this beautiful, stained glass window. It is sucking up resources of time and money right and left, and it won't do one damn thing to let the people of NLR know that God loves them. I've been meeting the people of Argenta, and I can't see them walking by that window and thinking, "Hey, I've really got to check this place out!" I hope I'm wrong. God has used stranger things than stained glass to communicate with people. I was just reflecting with someone yesterday about the people God places in our path. Perhaps this whole stained glass ordeal will end up putting our church smack dab in the middle of someone's path. I really hope so. Because we could sell that window and fix just about everything else in the church. Killing me!

Went to a great funeral yesterday for the Rev. Dr. Tom Logue. There was a man with a calling. In spite of a number of personal tragedies, he continued reaching out to people and sharing the Good News in a way that they could hear for over 60 years. The tributes given at his service were funny ( he was a funny man) and poignant. The number of lives he touched can't even begin to be calculated. My dad did a great job with his part. Although, he left out my favorite Tom Logue story, which involves Tom being convinced at a funeral (or maybe a visitation) when he couldn't find his glasses that the man in the casket was wearing them. Perhaps dad thought he couldn't get through the telling without cracking up himself. I wonder if Dr. Logue ever had to deal with a stained glass window?

My Lenten discipline marches on. Sadly, it has not been all that difficult to assemble of a bag of stuff per day to get rid of. Although, a couple of bags have just been trash from some of Maddie's "project areas". Have had to double up a couple of times when I just haven't been home long enough to do it on certain days, and will be doubling all of next week because of upcoming vacation. When I did this before in Germany, we knew we were moving to London, so there was a purging as well as an accumulating of things we wanted to have from Germany. So I couldn't really see the difference in the house. But I wonder this time, if I will see a difference or feel "lighter" by the time Lent is over. Maybe I should learn to be like Dr. Logue and not buy anything new until the old (shoes, pants, whatever) have holes.

This is Really Good

2010-02-25T05:02:00.000-08:00

I love Bill Nighy

Ministry on Spec

2010-02-23T18:07:00.000-08:00

Contractors build on spec all the time. They invest time and money into a home, planning that they will eventually turn a profit when the house sells.

Perhaps this will the new model for re-building churches that have experienced decline.

It's worked at Pulaski Heights Presbyterian Church in Little Rock. Not being able to call a full-time pastor several years ago, they called a well-qualified pastor who came in at well below the "going rate" because he had family reasons for wanting to be in Little Rock. Three years later, the leadership of this skilled pastor has brought the church to a place where they can install him as a full-time pastor.

I have taken another under-funded position at First Pres in Argenta, believing that this is the right time for this congregation to be re-born. The idea of it going under without having a chance to give it one last try with a regular (if not full-time) pastor was just not acceptable. Plus, I have a husband with an income.

Now our denomination has halted their program for church transformation--meaning aid for existing churches trying to make a comeback. So other than local Presbytery money, there will be no place for churches who can no longer afford a pastor to get financial assistance. It's a chicken and egg issue. How can a church transform without a pastor and how can a church in need of transformation afford a pastor? So maybe the Spec Pastor is the answer.

But how many pastors are out there who can actually afford or even want to work "on spec"? Unlike the contractor, you never actually recoup your initial investment (you don't get back pay). The best you can hope for is that one day, the church will be able to sustain a full-time pastor. Most pastors come out of seminary owing money on school loans. Others are supporting a family on a single salary. The potential spec pastor population isn't nearly large enough to serve those churches who do indeed have the potential to make a come back.

Perhaps that could be a new program for our denomination. To match churches who seem to have a chance to be re-born--meaning the potential to be self-sustaining in a few years if only they could afford a full-time pastor--with pastors who have the kind of entrepreneurial spirit to help bring a church back to life. And then supplement the pastor's salary on a descending level over a period of three-to-five years. Not only might it serve to bring churches back to life, it would also demonstrate our denomination's appreciation of our pastors' skills and our churches' witness.

Lenten Discipline

2010-02-22T14:59:00.000-08:00

This year, I decided to adopt my friend Jon Arnold's "invention" of disposing of a bag of stuff each day of Lent. 40 bags of stuff in 40 days. It can be stuff to be thrown away, recycled, donated or gifted to friends. These are plastic grocery sack-size bags--not garbage bags. I suppose if you have a serious hoarding problem, the garbage bag might be in order. But for folks like me, who are merely disorganized, a grocery bag is do-able and helpful.

Thus far, I've gathered a bag of trash (expired medicines, make-up and sunscreens, along with empty bottles of lotions and potions) from the bathroom, a bag of books, a bag of linens, a bag of magazines (to be recycled) and a bag of kitchen stuff.

My daughter wanted to know what my bags have to do with church and God. I reminded her how much time I spend looking for things and how stressed out I get when I can't find things. "Do you think that's really how God wants me to spend my time? Don't you think God has better plans for me? And that maybe if I spend less time looking for stuff, I could spend more time doing the things God would like for me to do." She seemed down with that. Although I think she doubts that simply removing 40 bags of stuff from the house will keep me from loosing track of things.

Time will tell. Hope everyone is having a transformative Lent.

Polity Exhausts Me

2010-02-20T18:45:00.000-08:00

Boy, I've really let this whole blog thing slide, huh?

Just got back from a two-day Presbytery meeting and am really worn out. I try really hard to get it, but I just don't.

We talk about change and revitalization in our churches, but when we gather as a Presbytery, we worship like it's 1952. Wouldn't such gatherings be a great time to model new and creative worship experiences? But no. That's not what we do.

And at a time when so many of our smaller churches could really benefit (and potentially grow) from having a full-time pastor, we boast about not tapping into more than 5% of our endowment in order to make the budget, rather than accessing some money to give struggling churches a boost or to plant new churches. And if you're not big on new and growing churches, don't we have some responsibility to help those in need during these tough economic times? Shouldn't we pull out a little more in this particular year to help the least of these? What exactly are we saving all that money for? Is that really good stewardship? Have we not all read the parable of the talents?

And I'm not even understanding the rationale behind what we do spend our money on. Maumelle, Arkansas is a booming community and we still don't have a Presbyterian presence there. For years, several folks have been trying to get an NCD out in Ferndale and were shut down. Now the Methodists are tearing it up just down the road from our Presbyterian camp. Yet, everyone seems very excited about a new church development in Northwest Arkansas targeted to the Hispanic population. If I understood the report today, it began in 2006 and they now have 30 members. Is that really what we're shooting for? Four years and 30 people? I feel like I'm just missing something.

I am, however, a big fan of our new moderator, Debbi Freeman and our new General Presbyter, Bill Galbraith. I really want to be hopeful about our denomination, but I'm having a hard time getting there right now.

What Three Women Can Tell Us

2010-02-04T16:45:00.000-08:00

Three women have owned the pop culture media coverage over the past six months--Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Sandra Bullock.

Beyonce and Swift forged a connection at the MTV video awards after that now-famous incident in which Kanye West stormed the stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech and announced that Beyonce had "the best video of all time." Later, Beyonce turned over her acceptance speech time to Taylor. The Grammy awards were just a back-and-forth between the two women. The song of the year was the much-imitated and spoofed "Put a Ring on It". My daughter's spring dance recital routine is choreographed to the version of that song that the "Chipettes" recorded. Swift's songs are all about what you might think songs written by teenager would be about--heartbreak and young love. I think her song Fifteen should be required listening for every girl in America before she enters high school.

Bullock has rocked the world of every cinema snob in America, as her portrayal of an evangelical Christian mom in "The Blindside" has won her the Golden Globe, the SAG award and an Oscar nomination. The movie is even up for a Best Picture Oscar.

All three of these women have reputations for being nice people who are easy to work with and gracious to those around them. They don't throw tantrums. They all appear to be a little overwhelmed by the attention and grateful for the success they enjoy. The songs of Beyonce and Swift tell stories--about hearts broken, young love, strong women and getting even. We like these songs because we've lived them. They speak to us. And they are catchy and easy to sing. "The Blindside" sucks us all into the true story of a woman and family who changed the life of a young man. It encourages us to believe that we, too, can make a difference. That we, too, have to power to change lives.

What the soaring popularity of these three women and their stories tells me as a pastor is that now is not the time to preach sermons on the doctrine of predestination or the theology of atonement. Now is the time to tell stories. Those stories from the Bible that touch is because we realize that the people in them are like us. They are faithful, but flawed, people. We like these stories because we think that if God could use them, perhaps God could use us as well.

Now is not the time to plan a massive Bach Cantata for Easter, but to sing the songs that those who always been churched have known forever and to teach new songs that are easy to sing and to understand for those who have only recently joined the party. This is not a "dumbing down" of the Gospel. I really dislike that term. How can you dumb down the message that God loves us? It's not all that complicated to begin with, although many people work very hard to make it seem that way.

The last year has been a difficult one for many people in our country. Good people who tell stories that seem like our stories are our champions. We have chosen heroes who look like us and make us believe we might be able to take part in saving the world as well. If that can't clue us in on how to be the church at this particular place in time, then we just aren't paying attention.

Are Your Kids Signed up for Camp?

2010-02-01T16:58:00.000-08:00

Crisis Commons--Very Cool

2010-01-23T05:48:00.000-08:00

One of Skip's buddies from college is working as a volunteer on this project called Crisis Commons that is bringing together information technology people to work on projects to help bring relief to the people of Haiti. They gather at Crisis Camps and develop programs and applications that facilitate better communication, distribution and medical resources to the people of Haiti.

Crisis Commons

Our friend is working on this Pict-O-Speak app that will use Droids and I-Phones to share pictures for people who speak different languages to communicate with one another. Dave has logged hours coding (something he doesn't do much of anymore) to get this up and running for aid workers and others to use in Haiti. Very cool.

Wiki Pict-O-Speak

Getting Ready for Lent

2010-01-20T18:51:00.000-08:00

If you're trying to decide what do for Lent--whether it's giving up something or taking up a discipline--check out this blog post from my friend John Arnold.

27 Days

Great ideas for a transformative Lenten season

Praying for Haiti

2010-01-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we are forced into prayer. In those times when we feel helpless, when there aren't any immediate actions we can take, we are forced into prayer, simply because we can't do anything else.

The crisis in Haiti is so beyond our reach.

We text our donations to the Red Cross or send our money to Presbyterian Disaster assistance or other agencies, but it seems like a drop in the bucket.

We can't get in our cars or vans and drive to Haiti like so many did after 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina so that we can help.

We can't even begin to gather clothing and blankets and other supplies because there is not way to get them to the people who need them right now.

We are simply forced into prayer because we cannot think of anything else to do for the people of Haiti today. So often we act first and pray later. Perhaps Haiti will be our opportunity to reverse that order in future situations.

But while we pray, we can acknowledge that the disaster in Haiti is a disaster of such incredible proportions because of the extreme poverty that exists there. And poverty is something we can take action against every day in our own towns and communities. It exists in our own backyards.

Super Bowl Sunday is coming up. It's a great time to collect cans of soup (for Souper Bowl Sunday) and donate them to a local food pantry. All of them are running low on supplies these days

Go ahead and collect those clothes and blankets and get them to your local shelter or half-way house.

Think about how we all might spend less and share more.

Perhaps we can "pray globally" and act locally. And through that combination begin to carve our a more peaceful and just world.

We pray for Haiti

God of compassion
please watch over the people of Haiti,
and weave out of these terrible happenings
wonders of goodness and grace.
Surround those who have been affected by tragedy
with a sense of your present love,
and hold them in faith.
Though they are lost in grief,
may they find you and be comforted.
Guide us as a church
to find ways of providing assistance
that heal wounds and provide hope.
Help us to remember that when one of your children suffers
we all suffer;
through Jesus Christ who was dead, but lives
and rules this world with you. Amen.

— Bruce Reyes-Chow, Gradye Parsons and Linda Valentin

Two Great Articles

2010-01-11T13:13:00.001-08:00

One is from Christianity Today on the Myth of the Perfect Parent. It particularly addresses the notion (a false one) that there is a formula for raising a Christian child. It's really interesting and I think comforting for parents whose children have not embraced the faith as much as the parents had hoped.

Myth of the Perfect Parent

The other one is from the Utne Reader and is about how creating things with our hands improves critical thinking skills and our sense of self-worth.

Crafting a New World

Now I'm waiting on the article on how learning to create things with our hands can help us to connect with our Creator.

2010-01-09T06:45:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning craving an egg sandwich. When I was in college, Murrell's (somehow I don't thing that's the right spelling) was a 24-hour diner. It closed at the end of July of this year. Back in the day, you could get a fried egg sandwich at Murrell's for one dollar. An egg between two slices of toasted white bread with mayo and sliced pickles. Today's version was made on wheat toast and with light mayo, but it still tasted great. I offered one to my daughter, but she couldn't seem to grasp the wonder of it.

Perhaps I was longing for the days when I just lived in a trashed dorm room and didn't have a house to maintain. A house that I can't update or decorate because my husband and I can't agree on colors to paint or what should go where. So nothing is happening. I think I will just focus on painting and putting together my office at church where I can do whatever I want and am armed with a gift certificate from Paint Depot.

Maddie is all geared up to start selling Girl Scout cookies. Dieters beware. Maddie is coming to sell you some Thin Mints and Samoas. The good news is that the won't actually be here until later in February, so you still have time to meet those New Year's resolutions.

Great article in the DemGaz on our church today. I even liked the picture of me--which is a miracle in itself. Here is the link, but you may need an account with the paper in order to view it. We have had amazingly good fortune in the last few weeks. Makes me think that perhaps God is up to something and hope that I am up for whatever it is God is up to!

Art of Renewal

2010-01-08T03:37:00.000-08:00

"Faith is what you do between the last time you experienced God and the next time you experience God." -- Renita J. Weems, writer, minister, and professor of Old Testament studies at Vanderbilt University Divinity School.

I've been looking at the story of Jacob this week and realizing how that first powerful encounter with God at Bethel really didn't do much to change Jacob. He acknowledges a holy encounter and even marks the spot with a stone, but he continues a life a self-service and trickery. It's not until the man/angel/God wrestles with him all night and physically injures him that he is changed.

Most of us don't get those vivid, in-your-face, up-close-and-personal kind of experiences with God. We experience God in worship, in nature, through helping others, through allowing ourselves to be helped. But I really like the idea of faith being what you do in between those experiences. That our faith is about how we live in light of our experience and encounters with God.

I wonder if anyone will ever figure out a formula for God-encounters and spiritual growth. You know, like the average person has to quit smoking seven times before they quit for good. Does the average person need at least seven experiences with God before they move to the next level in their spiritual growth? Who are the people who grow faster, and who are the ones who, despite encounter after encounter, simply stay where they are? And how many of us are like Jacob and have to be injured before we can move on to a better place?

Here's hoping we all have an encounter with the Holy today that will sustain us and feed us until the next one.

I want to be like this guy

2010-01-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

When a bunch of people were stuck in the Newark airport because of a security issue that shut down a whole terminal for about 5 hours, a traveling guitar player led everyone in a sing-a-long. Cool.

A Pledge for A New Year

2009-12-31T17:05:00.000-08:00

I will remember that no lost hope and no jaded attitude can erase all the good that we do.

I will endeavor to embrace the size of my thighs.

I will spend less time worrying about how I look and more time focusing on how I make others feel.

I will challenge myself and others to make a difference in the lives of those who have the least.

I will spend less time channel surfing, but not feel guilty about watching television that really does make me feel good.

I will find a place to put my keys where I will always be able to find them. (this one is a stretch)

I will go see more movies in the theater.

I will throw out, give away or otherwise recycle about one-quarter of the stuff that is taking up room in my home.

I will pray and play more. Sometimes I might even do both at the same time.

I will continue to take seriously the call to share the word of God with those who enter the doors of the First Presbyterian Church of NLR, while never taking myself too seriously in the process.

All of these things I sincerely pledge for the year 2010

A House Like No Other

2009-12-28T17:04:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law Beth was trying to think of something my 8-year-old (who have traveled the world) hasn't seen, and she certainly scored. Just up the road from their home, in the next town of Torrington is a Christmas House you really have to see to believe.

The Christmas House

The house is open free of charge to the public. They take donations, but do not charge a fee. The paint on the house is peeling and the owner is missing several teeth, yet there is no telling what the collection is worth. It is indescribable. From case after case of Coca Cola Santa merchandise to a railroad Christmas village that fills a space as big as my dining room to a gi-normous collection of moving dolls holding candles. If you're in CT next year around Christmas, fit this in to your schedule!

Also, for those of you heading to the movies over the Christmas break and wondering if you can make it through the whole film without a bathroom break, check out www.runpee.com. You can look up the movie you're going to see and it will tell you the best time to go without missing much. Who has WAY too much time on their hands? Or have they stumbled upon a brilliant service that will attract enough advertisers to allow them to spend the rest of their lives at the movies?

A Christmas Eve Message

2009-12-24T08:25:00.001-08:00

If you're planning to be at the First Presbyterian Church in NLR Argenta tonight, you might want to hold off on reading this. But if not, read on. Merry Christmas!

Nine weeks ago when I started at this church, we were meeting in the Fellowship Hall because our heating system in the sanctuary was broken. We just assumed that we would be in Fellowship Hall for Christmas Eve. We didn’t know that people would begin to come out of the woodwork to help. Volunteering to play music. Coming out on a moment’s notice to mend leaky roofs and prop up rotting walls. Replacing light bulbs and working on wiring. Buying a new heating system for the church because we’ve been out of our sanctuary long enough. We knew that God was at work here. We just didn’t know God was going to work so fast through so many people.

Because we didn’t know we would be here, you’ll notice that our service has no traditional Christmas pageant. So tonight, as it is with most things around here, everyone will have to pitch in. We’ll all have to play all the parts.

Tonight, we are all the shepherd, startled to hear the good news of the angels, but eager to go and see for ourselves.

We are Mary, aware that somehow God is using us to accomplish things too big to imagine.

We are Joseph, not understanding fully that which God calls us to do, but following as faithfully as we can.

We are the innkeeper, busy and frazzled, but making some room, somehow, for God to be born.

We are the Wisemen, on a journey of discovery, bearing our gifts to be given to glorify God.

And yes, we are the angel, proclaiming in our own lives, the glorious good news that God has come into the world, and we shall never be the same.

But perhaps you’re thinking that you don’t feel like taking on any role tonight—much less all of them. Because you’ve had a hard year. Maybe this year has just about knocked you flat. And maybe the Christmas season has only served to intensify your pain, to shine a light on your brokenness, to magnify your loneliness.

If you’re just too sad or too angry or in too much pain, then you don’t get a part. You are going to have to direct. You are in charge of the whole thing. It is you who must lead this Christmas. If you are feeling too resentful or too disappointed or simply too exhausted for Christmas this year, then it is you who must sing the loudest. You are the one who should fling the tinsel on the tree, and call everyone in from off of the street to come and celebrate.

Because it is unto you that a Savior is born this night. Jesus came for the heartbroken and the hopeless, for the downtrodden and the depressed, for the busted and the broken, for the fearful and the faithless.

So if you don’t feel like being Mary or Joseph or the shepherd or the angel, you must draw the rest of us in. So that everyone will know that God sends light into the dark corners of our lives. That in lonely and cold moments, God bursts forth with a message of good news.

I believe in Christmas. I believe in the power of the love of God come down to earth. It is a story in which we all must participate. A miracle we cannot afford to miss.

This message was inspired by the prayers of Ann Weems and Peter K. Perry

Is Christmas the Key?

2009-12-21T01:02:00.000-08:00

Dr. David Lipschitz is a nationally-known expert on geriatrics, and he's right here in Arkansas. His column that ran today in our paper is one of the best I have ever read on why we should all embrace the true meaning of Christmas. How great is God to use a Jewish expert on aging to remind people of all ages why the values and virtues we claim to embrace at Christmas time are what will make us healthy and whole? Pretty cool.

Prolong Your Life with the True Message of Christmas

And, as a side note, today in my in-box, I had messages from Amazon.com, Amazon.de, and Amazon.co.uk that today is the last day to order for guaranteed Christmas delivery. Christmas consumer messages from three different countries.

Sanctuary Ready to Go

2009-12-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

After about 25 people gathered for about 3 hours yesterday morning and another 15 stayed after worship today to help move things back in to the sanctuary (like the communion table, baptismal font, Advent wreath), I think we are ready for Christmas Eve.

It will be the first worship service in the sanctuary in almost two years. The long-time members of the church are just positively giddy! Although, several are a little worn out as they have been working hard to get the church spruced up for its debut.

On December 26, we will be feature in the religion section of the Arkansas Dem-Gaz. Good things just keep happening. Hope we can keep up with it all. My brain is positively frazzled. Am hoping to re-group after Christmas Eve.

Running Through Advent

2009-12-15T20:17:00.001-08:00

I didn't mean to do it. I really didn't. I thought I had it all under control. Ready for a slow, peaceful, holy kind of Advent. But somehow it all swarmed on me. It swarmed with almost entirely good things, but it swarmed nonetheless.

The late-breaking news that we will be in our sanctuary for Christmas Eve, requiring a whole different take on the service with only two weeks to make those changes, which include finding musicians, liturgists and piano tuners.

The Christmas cards that I don't really have an updated address list for.

The baking requirements for my daughter's class and other events in addition to the annual baking of the German stollen.

The family we adopted (and had SO much fun shopping for) whose gifts I still have to wrap

It's all been good, but I am 10 sleeps away from Christmas Day and absolutely exhausted. So I'm already giving some thought to how to do things differently next year.

1. Though handmade gifts are very special, often cost less and show that you took the time to create something unique for the recipient, if I go this route next year, I will begin in July, not November.

2. I'm taking a cue from colleague in ministry Robert Lowery and not buying anything during Advent next year. Gift buying and creating will have to be done in the weeks and months prior. Though, Robert doesn't have any kids, and my kid might throw a kink into that plan.

3. Because I insist on sending Christmas cards and love the chance to remember and pray for all the people on my list, I will get that list together and updated well before Halloween.

4. I will block off time on my calendar for baking and not try to cram one of my favorite parts of the holidays into short slots of time.

5. Next year I will not host any parties. I will not host any parties. I will not host any parties. Is that Scroogey? Because I still want people to invite me to theirs.

6. The one thing I have gotten right this Advent is plenty of exercise, and I hope to continue that commitment into next year all the way through to Advent 2010.

I'm going to use the excuse of still getting settled back in the US and taking on a new job as to why I've let it all get out of hand this year. Next year, I want to do better. I want to have time to soak up the holy and marinate in the wonder of it all.

But now, as thoughts of Mary and her Magnificat and what I have to say about that on Sunday drift through my head, I'm going to crash until morning.

Fun Things I Have Recently Learned

2009-12-14T19:40:00.000-08:00

Did you know that Barnes and Noble has the new service called Pick Me Up? When you find a book you want, you can choose the pick-me-up option to see if the store closest to you has it in stock. Then they will hold it for you and you can pick it up there and save not only shipping charges but a wasted trip to the store if they didn't have it. Cool!

Did you know that you can get podcasts of NPR's This American Life, Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me, Fresh Air and other shows for free and download them to your I-Pod or MP3 player? I never do housework anymore unless I'm plugged in listening to Ira Glass or Carl Castle.

Check out the Painted Prayer Book and The Advent Door, both blogs by artist Jan Richardson. Great stuff!

Good Magazine has a great Web site. This is a magazine my Dad got me a subscription to a couple of years back. But now they have this really fabulous on-line presence with lots of news of every day people who are making the world better and great ideas on what we all can do to make the world better. It's a feel-good site to visit.

In a recent study of couples who had separated, 58 percent of the men said they were happier after the separation. Eighty-five percent of the women said that they were happier. Think twice, men. Your chance of of post-separation bliss is a little iffy.

Watching Our Water Consumption

2009-12-13T19:52:00.001-08:00

This is a great little video with some tips on how we can use less water each day. When it comes to the environment, the little things each of us do every day really do add up to make a big difference. I like that. There's something synergistic and collaborative about it.

I Give!

2009-12-11T18:23:00.000-08:00

Half the Christmas tree lights have gone out--for the second time. Maddie says not to worry about it. It looks unique. No one else has a Christmas tree like that. I'm going with her assessment.

I had to borrow my parents' vacuum cleaner because ours only makes noise now. It doesn't actually suck up anything. And people are coming to the house tomorrow and the floors have stuff on them that needs to be sucked up.

Spent two hours making cookies with Maddie for an open house we're having tomorrow where Maddie will be selling her own special design of earrings. I am plum wore out.

BUT the First Presbyterian Church of North Little Rock is planning to be back in the sanctuary for Christmas Eve after over an 18-month exile to the fellowship hall. Thanks to a very generous donor who has ordered us our very own working heating unit. You never know who might might turn out to be a Christmas angel. There is a lot of clean up to be done in a very large room that has been shut up for almost two years. We'll be busting out Bessie (our very powerful vacuum), the Murphy's Oil Soap and a case of Swiffer dusters.

I better come up with a really good Christmas Eve message. But then, can one really have a bad Christmas Eve message? I'll think about that more tomorrow. I'm headed to bed.

What If God really is at work?

2009-12-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

That's what I've been telling everyone. That God is doing something at the First Presbyterian Church in North Little Rock. And I thought I really believed that, until events began unfolding that make it clear that God really IS at work there. And it has shocked the daylights out of me!

A Different Kind of Christmas Carol

2009-12-06T15:40:00.001-08:00

Prepare ye the way of the Lord. That’s what her preacher had said. That’s what she was trying to do this Advent season. She desperately wanted to prepare her heart to receive the peace of Christ. God knew she could use some peace.

Carol was a single mom trying to raise two kids. Her husband bailed after the second child was born prematurely and had some developmental problems. The doctors couldn’t guarantee she would turn out to be “normal” and he couldn’t handle it. Ironically, her youngest did turn out to be just fine—a happy 11-year-old with a “B” average and an addiction to instant messaging on the computer.

Carol used to love Christmas. Her father once told her that the Christmas “Carols” were sung just for her, and years after she stopped believing him, she loved pretending it was true. She knew the words to all of them. But this year, she just didn’t feel much like singing.

There was a store that she walked by on the way to work everyday that had a window full of nativity scenes. There was one that she always paused to look at. It was too expensive for her to purchase, and she wondered if it might still be there and go on sale after Christmas. Then she always felt a little guilty waiting for a bargain Jesus. It was the kind that just had Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus. None of the shepherds or wisemen or barn animals. Just the family. The baby is sleeping and Mary is looking down at him. Her face the picture of calm and peace.

Working full time and trying to raise two precocious girls who were determined to grow up as fast as they could didn’t bring a lot of peace to Carol. She was hoping to find some this Christmas. This year, she was really wanting something more from Christmas. Though her life wasn’t bad, things really hadn’t turned out the way she thought they would. Life seemed a little hollow—as if there was something deep in her core that needed to be filled. She was hoping and praying that Christmas would bring her what she yearned for this year.

She wanted to Prepare the Way for the Lord, but she honestly couldn’t find the time. She got up early enough for a short power walk to help preserve her waistline and her sanity. Then it was always chaos for three females to get ready and out the door by 8 a.m. Her work day sailed with lunch usually being a sandwich at her desk. And then by the time she got home, fixed dinner, helped with homework, got the girls to bed and threw a load of whites in the laundry, all she wanted to do was collapse in a heap. She didn’t even have time to pray. When on earth this the preacher (who didn’t have any children) think she was going to do all this preparation?

But every day when she passed by that store, she paused to look at that nativity scene—it was her very own Christmas story. She imagined that Silent Night when Christ was born. She imagined how miraculous that night must have been and she longed for the peace she saw in Mary’s eyes.

One day as she was passing the store front to look at her nativity scene she was shocked and disappointed to see that it was gone. Guess she wouldn’t be buying it on the after Christmas sales after all. But in its place was a very different kind of scene. This one had the shepherds and the sheep and a donkey and a cow and even the three wisemen. Baby Jesus was not asleep, but his feet and arms were waving in the air and Joseph was leaned over as if speaking to Mary whose head was thrown back like she was laughing.

“What on earth was she laughing about?” thought Carol. Then it hit her. Mary was laughing at the absurdity of it all. Two people, far away from home, birthing their first child—a child that they had on good authority was actually God—birthing him in a barn among the livestock. One would have to either laugh or cry—and this Mary had chosen to laugh.

Then Carol realized that there was nothing “silent” about that night. It was loud and dirty and uncomfortable and painful and, yes…chaotic. Nobody was at all prepared for Jesus that first Christmas, yet he came anyway. He burst onto the scene screaming and messy and hungry. Carol’s hectic schedule seemed like a cake walk compared to what must have gone on in Bethlehem that first Christmas.

If Jesus could enter the world in such an unexpected and unlikely way, surely he could make his way into her wacky world. She had her very own epiphany right in front of the Hallmark store.

So that year, to prepare for Advent, she became the laughing Mary.

When the work package that just absolutely positively had to get there overnight went to Tucson instead of Boston, she ran some damage control and then she tossed back her head and laughed.

When she fell into bitter moods over being left to raise two daughters alone, she smiled because she, and she alone, knew the joy of being a parent to those two wonderful creatures she called daughters.

When the disposal and the dishwasher broke on the same day, she laughed because it couldn’t get worse, and then the next day when the dryer broke, she laughed at her own naivete.

When she heard her two daughters unpacking the Christmas decorations and her youngest cried out—“Mom, Sara hid the baby Jesus. Tell her she can’t have him. Jesus is for all of us.” She laughed, because she knew that truer words had never been spoken.

And then in the midst of all that laughter, a funny thing happened. Not funny, ha ha. But funny, odd. Funny wonderful.

Somehow, the mornings seemed easier. And she didn’t feel exhausted by nightfall. There was not only time to pray, but the prayers seemed to bubble up from inside of her. They came with no effort at all. And there was no part of her body, her soul, or her life that seemed hollow.

Several years ago she had let each of the girls choose their favorite food to have for Christmas dinner. So that Christmas Eve after church when she and the girls sat down to their traditional dinner of pizza and Cheetos, every part of her felt whole.

Her life was loud, messy, uncomfortable, painful and chaotic. She was totally prepared for the coming of the Christ child. After all, her life was just the kind of place where Jesus feels at home.

The Stories of Our Tree

2009-11-29T03:20:00.000-08:00

Our family has accumulated so many Christmas ornaments that we might have to add another tree next year. We don't ever have a themed tree or even a very elegant one, but it always looks fabulous to us. It is filled with memories of friends and family and places we've been. This year, it is nice to be home and able to enjoy it for the entire month of December.

For several years, my friend Eric owned a home store and carried fabulous Christmas ornaments. Many of the ones on my tree (and on my friend's trees) came from there.

This dates back to my child hood. It's part of the stash Mom and Dad sent with me when I had my first apartment and put up my own tree. Eyeore is somewhere on the tree, too, but he's missing an eye.

After we visited Paris and found this ornament, we began to make a point of picking up a Christmas ornament wherever we traveled in Europe. We have ones from England, Scotland, Ireland, Austria, Germany, France and Czech Republic. Somehow we missed getting one in Italy. Guess we'll have to go back!

At the church where I grew up, we had Advent Workshops every year. All the Sunday School rooms got turned in to little workshops to make gifts of ornaments, food and other items, like Advent Wreaths. This ornament was made at one of these events and dates back at least 30 years. it is a clothespin replica of a Westminster Presby choir member.

Since Maddie was born, Mom has been collecting ornaments that represent the things she was interested in the previous year. Here are Bob and Larry from Veggie Tales. There are also Care Bears, Disney Princesses, Blues Clues, Strawberry Shortcake and Madeleine ornaments.

For many years now, friends Olivia and Leigh Ann and I have been exchanging ornaments at Christmas time. They always pick great ones. This one came from O in 2003.

When I was in high school and college and beyond, my mom would give me a musical themed ornament each year. The baby grand piano recently lost a leg, but bass playing Santa is holding up well.

When we lived in Boston, there was a Dunkin Donuts on every corner. When I was pregnant with Maddie, hardly a day went by that I did not have a small hazelnut, black coffee with a chocolate covered donut. No wonder I gained 60 pounds! Oddly enough, since she was born, my donut cravings completely disappeared. I rarely have them anymore, even when they are out and available at church or a meeting. But I still miss that Dunkin Donuts coffee. And no, the stuff you buy in the store just isn't quite same.

One of our favorite things about London--the double decker bus!

My husband's hometown of Brookfield, Connecticut puts out a commemorative ornament each year depicting a building or landmark in the town. Each year, his parents give him one and we have about 10 or 12 on the tree.

Here's hoping you have a tree filled with memories as well. And, if not, this year might be a great time to start one.

The Dream of the Table

2009-11-26T16:52:00.000-08:00

I wrote this several years ago for Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd post it today.

Today, a dream will be lived out across this great country.

There is a gigantic table, with countless people sitting at it and eating together: women and men, children and adults, healthy and frail, poor and rich, black folks and white folks and yellow folks. An investment banker from New York is seated next to a truck stop waitress from Montana. An Iowa farmer exchanges stories with a New England fisherman. A bearded professor from Berkeley passes the gravy to an auto mechanic from the Deep South. A young soldier laughs at a joke an old lady tells him.

We dream this dream for a single afternoon each year as we gather around the Thanksgiving Day table. For it seems then that our entire nation offers a single prayer and sits down to a single meal. Indeed Thanksgiving is the most universally celebrated holiday in our nation. The dinner is shared in the homes of the wealthy, the middle class, and the poor. It takes place in soup kitchens and suburban restaurants, and happens with studied formality and with casual folksiness. It feels as though all our people eat together today. On this one afternoon, we dream, however fitfully, "The Dream of the Table." And for a moment we see what God wants for us and for all people.

Yet the sad thing is that Thanksgiving Day is but one day, and the rest of the years seems different, somehow. The dream remains a dream. The world does not normally appear as a dinner where all people share, and all people feast, and all people give thanks. Not all share, for some have plenty and some have none. Not all feast, for some throw food out and others die from hunger. Not all give thanks, for some cannot see past their wealth and others cannot see past their poverty. The dream remains a dream. It seems insubstantial. And so on Thanksgiving Day we seek consolation in yet another helping or in too long a time spent in front of the television.

What great barriers keep the dream from becoming real? What prevents us from taking our places at the table, and helping others find their own places?

The dream is interrupted because we don’t believe in the promises of God. We don’t believe in the Bible.

Now I’m not talking about whether or not you believe that the Bible is literal or figurative or allegory. I’m talking about not believing that the Bible is true—the true story of God’s action in this world. The true story of God’s promises. The true story of promises kept.
Our dream of the great table is not realized year-round because we stake our claim on the promises of the world rather than on the promises of God.
The world tells us there will never be enough and we must grab all we can. God promises abundance and calls us to share all we can.

The world tells us we are entitled to whatever it is we want. God assures us that what we have are blessings from God.

The world tells us life is a burden. God grants life as a gift.

The world tells us to trust people who are part of the established order. Jesus reached out to those who lived on the fringes.

What makes the table a distant dream is that we choose not to trust in the promises of God. Lack of trust prevents us from sharing. It causes us to cling tight to what is ours and to focus our energies on getting more. And when we do receive a miracle like the lepers in our scripture today, our lack of trust causes us to run off to celebrate without every pausing to say “thank you.” After all, don’t we deserve to be whole.? Don’t we deserve whatever it is we get?

But as we cling to what is ours, as we smugly claim entitlement, as we take more than we give, we find ourselves anxious and alone and far, far away from the table.

Thanksgiving is here. Once again, we experience that haunting dream of the universal table where all people share, and feast, and give thanks. Will the dream come true for us this year? Will we, in reality, find our places at the table, and help others find theirs?

Will be the ones who feel entitled to whatever comes our way, or will we be the ones to stop, turn and offer thanks for the gift of life? Will we be the ones who shun the lepers, the outcasts, the broken, the poor, the addicted, or will we be the ones who stretch out our hands to offer acceptance, healing and wholeness? Will the table we gather round on a daily basis be an open one or a closed one?

The choice is ours.

Be Like Tofu

2009-11-24T18:55:00.000-08:00

Tofu gets a bad rap. Most people turn up their nose at the sound of the word, but I’d wager most people don’t even know what it is! Everyone has heard of it, every grocery store sells it, and whether you know it or not, you’ve probably eaten it (especially if you frequent Chinese restaurants). What is this strange, yet ever-present substance?

As cheese is to milk, so tofu is to the soybean. As a cow gives milk, so does a soybean give soymilk. As animal milk is separated into curds and whey in the production of cheese, so soymilk is separated into curds and whey to form tofu. The remarkable thing about tofu is that it takes on the flavor of whatever it’s mixed with. Soft tofu can be blended to create sweet treats. Firm tofu can be marinated, sautéed and baked for a savory dish. In fact, unlike most foods, the more you do to tofu, the better it tastes.

So as Thanksgiving approaches, and we officially kick off the holiday season, let's be like tofu. We can take on the flavor of whatever we’re mixed with. We can choose to blend into the consumer frenzy of the season and wear ourselves out trying to find the perfect gift for everyone in our lives. We can opt to baste in the Martha Stewart mandate to create perfectly decorated homes, multitudes of baked goods and flawless fowl dinners. We can simmer in the Santa Claus saturated media version of the holidays.

Or, we can choose to marinate in the spirit of the season. We can bake in the abundance of Thanksgiving and in the Good News of the birth of Christ. We can simmer in good deeds toward all God’s creatures. We can be seasoned with prayer and promise. We can bubble over with joy.

This holiday season, we are like tofu. We can be whatever we want to be. Choose your flavor.

The Monday Before Thanksgiving

2009-11-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

Thought I would post the link to the above-titled short film on the day for which it is named. It's about 20 minutes long, but when you have a chance, take a look. It's a great lesson for all of us who think that everyone needs the same things we do. And it celebrates and affirms the choice to be single.

The Monday Before Thanksgiving

Good News For Us All

2009-11-20T06:54:00.001-08:00

Shane Claiborne made Equire Magazine's best and brightest of 2009. He is one of my personal heroes. Here is his article. There may be hope for the church, yet.

Letter to Non-Believers

We're gonna make it after all

2009-11-20T05:18:00.000-08:00

When we lived in Germany, Maddie and I used to sing the Mary Tyler Moore theme walking down the street. I started singing it again this week. She's been out of school since Tuesday, but was only really sick for two days. But having your kid spike a fever that wouldn't be brought down by medicine the day after you visit a friend's child in the ICU unit is a little scarier than it normally would be. And as I am on day four of staying at home with a sick kid, my patience is stretched pretty thin.

Of course, both mother and husband are out of town this week. Thank goodness for my dad who could run errands for us in the evening. When I got Maddie's prescription, she felt so rotten that I just dropped of the order and Dad went to pick it up and brought it to the house. I feel so bad for those parents who don't have ANY support system and have to sit in Walgreens for half-an-hour or more with their sick, feverish kids just to get the medicine they need. Dad was also great with the smoothie delivery--which was just the ticket for a kid with strep.

This was going to be such a productive week for me. Husband gone, so no cooking and one less person to pick up after (amazing how clean our bathroom stays when only one of us is using it!). Daughter in school all week. Plenty of time to get house in order, lay out plans for Advent, get my office at church organized, eat healthily and exercise every day. Oh, well. Best laid plans.

Now there are just two days of school before Thanksgiving break. I think Maddie and her dad will be spending some quality time together over the break while I catch up on all the things I meant to get done this week!

Am ready to do some holiday cooking and baking with all the ingredients I need for whatever I want to prepare all available at my local grocery store.

A Talking on the Phone Day

2009-11-16T18:12:00.000-08:00

Spent a part of my day on the phone doing some community organizing (I'm not a real community organizer, but may start to play one at the corner of 4th and Maple) bringing together the owners of a home who are applying for a re-zoning permit in order to house a rental office out of the first floor, members of the church and members of the business community. There is concern about the kind of traffic this business will generate, so we're all going to get together and try to work things out at the church in about a week.

Another part of my day was spent on the phone discussing the Baker Bazaar, the school's big December fundraiser. Each class makes something and then sells it in this big market held at a local Methodist Church. Our class is making decoupaged light switch and electric outlet covers. Guess who gets to buy the materials and help teach the kids how to make them? A little decoupage time may be just what I need right about now.

The part of the day that about did me in was my trip up to Children's Hospital's ICU to see friends from college whose son has severe pneumonia from H1N1 complications. They are holding up much better than I would be. I wonder how heavy a dose of tranquilizers they would have to give me if Maddie ever ends up in the ICU. And then, of course, they'd have to double that for Skip. I'm going back to check on my friends on Wednesday with magazines and crosswords in hand. Prayers for the Randolph family are appreciated. This was also the cause for many phone calls today to let other friends from college who are here in town know what's going on. Fortunately, there are a lot of Centenary College class of 91,92,93 around these parts, so hopefully we can be helpful during the time they have to be here.

I am so thankful for my kid today for a number of reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that she let me off the hook from the Baker Elementary Thanksgiving lunch and didn't even know it. I've done one lunch at her elementary school where parents and friends are invited, and it is such madness! Crowded and loud and hot. I was so not looking forward to a repeat, and I was going to have to shuffle some things at church to make it. She just came to me on Saturay and said, "Mom, I don't even like what they're serving for that lunch and it's always so crowded. Could you just come and have lunch with me on Monday instead?" I love this kid! I picked up Sonic for both of us and went up to school and we had 20 minutes to sit and eat and visit. I'm going to do that more often. It was a lot of fun. And it didn't involve the phone.

Evil Forces and Entrepreneurs

2009-11-15T17:50:00.000-08:00

"There are forces loose in this land that threaten to rip and tear asunder the very fabric of this republic." --Senator John McClellan.

There were definitely forces loose in the church and its immediate vicinity in the two hours that led up to worship today. By the time I got up to welcome everyone, I was completely frazzled and rung out. Following worship was a lunch and a session meeting, so I didn't even make it home until almost 4 p.m. That's when Skip called wondering why I hadn't responded to any of his text messages. I told him that I really couldn't even begin to get into it, but I was glad he arrived in London safely. I collapsed in the recliner for about 45 minutes, then got up to make dinner and help Maddie with her latest entreprenurial endeavor.

When she started going door to door selling the earrings and charms she made (like disappearing from the house with her box of goodies and cold calling the neighbors), we figured we had to do something. So I took this as a "teaching moment" opportunity. Now Maddie (in partnership with her mom) has her own Etsy page. Etsy is an on-line marketplace for handmade items. She has had to come up with pricing based on the cost of materials as well as the time she spends. She is definitely pricing to sell, but she knows she has to make enough to buy more supplies to make more jewelry. She has only posted a few items so far, but I told her to start slow and build. She's also come up with ideas of things for ME to make and sell, so we'll see how that goes. Maybe after Christmas.

Maddie's Shop

Check back often. There will be new items every week. Sure beats a paper route.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2009-11-14T16:10:00.000-08:00

Ahh, the back to real life and home where the counters haven't been wiped down or the floors vacuumed all week. I told my husband that the next time I'm gone, we'll have to have a refresher course in basic home care. I had to fix all the meals myself today and fresh, clean towels were not neatly folded up on a cart down the hall. Bummer.

My shoulder "injury" or whatever it is has reared it's ugly head again. I'm not ready for a chronic problem just yet. Surely such things would be decent enough to wait until after my 40th birthday. Wouldn't you think?

I need to get a little focused. Too many creative things to dive into right now. Advent planning. Holiday baking preparations. Something I'm writing that I'd really like to finish. A sewing project I want to try involving a pair of jeans my kid has outgrown. Finding a way to make a little extra money for the holidays. Some knitting--something about the cold weather always makes me want to start knitting again.

Plus there's all that non-creative stuff that has to be dealt with, too. Laundry. Church maintenance issues. Pledge drive. Food preparation. Re-tuning my guitar that has been tuned to open-G because I left my other guitar at Ferncliff and didn't want to drive back out there to get it today.

I just finished a video proposal for money from the Committee for Congregational Care and Development. I've got to get it approved by the session tomorrow at our meeting before sending it on, but any feedback would be appreciated.

Encouraged

2009-11-12T21:18:00.000-08:00

It's not very often that I feel encouraged about the future of the PCUSA, but after spending a week with the staff of our camps and conferences around the country, I feel like maybe we can be saved. A group of people with a real heart for mission and evangelism who look for new and creative ways to share the Gospel with kids and adults. And, yes! They were all Presbyterians.

Getting to spend time with J. Herbert Nelson, founding pastor of the Liberation Presbyterian Church in Memphis has also been great. Very thankful to have made that connection.

We capped off our last worship with a visit from the Gloryland Pastor's Choir. They know how to do church! They came to Ferncliff last summer to do a choir camp and tonight we took up an offering to help fund camp for them this year.

Must head back into real life tomorrow. Re-entry is always tough after a week at camp!

The Stuff They Skip in the History Books

2009-11-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

The keynote speaker at the conference this week is Rev. J. Herbert Nelson. Rev. Nelson grew up in Orangeburg, South Carolina and in one of his keynotes he told us about being a young child at the time of the Orangeburg Massacre. I had never heard of it. If you haven't either, you need to check out the story.

Orangeburg Massacre

I find it really curious that this incident has just kind of slipped out of our history.

Long, long, good, good day

2009-11-08T20:33:00.000-08:00

A very tiring, worship-filled day. Will sleep well tonight.

Let worship at First Church this morning. Great song offered up by Art Hymel to kick off worship. Am hoping that God will send us some more musicians soon. I feel a little all-Anne-all-the-time right now. I would love to plan worship and then just sit back until it was time to preach and let others take the lead. My husband did a great job as liturgist, and we have others who are really good lay leaders, so we're getting there.

Then out to Ferncliff where it took about 10 people, two computers and three projectors to get my worship plans to project on the screen. That was a little wearing. Worship was a little nutty, but it went well overall. Can't write anymore tonight. Have got to hit the hay.

A David Sedaris Kind of Evening

2009-11-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

I just experienced a series of events that felt like they came right out of a David Sedaris essay. So I tried to write it up as he would have, but it reads better if you imagine his voice saying it.

So I took my daughter, along with a friend and her daughter, to see Little House on the Prarie—the Musical. Starring Melissa Gilbert as Ma. It was entertaining, not spectacular, but entertaining. The girl who played Lara looked about 15, but her bio said she has a BFA from Carnegie Melon, so I’m guessing she’s more like 25. She had a powerful voice that made me wonder if she wasn’t the dark-haired love child of Kristen Chenoweth. I’m sure it played well in Peoria, but the whole thing might have been a little more impressive had Ms. Gilbert been as good of a singer as her castmates.

I don't imagine the play will go on to be a classic as none of the songs could be sung independently of the play. Every song's lyrics tied it specifically to the plot line. There was no ballad that could be sung at weddings or funerals. No show stopper that will be picked up next season on an episode of "Glee". No numbers that pageant contestants will be working up for upcoming competitions. Nothing that could have a life of its own.

After the play, we got into my friend’s car and both our children were complaining of hunger in a way that made it sound like they were dying. My response was, “Don’t make me beat you.” But my friend is a kinder and gentler soul, and she suggested we drive through Starbucks. I wondered what kind of coffee her eight-year-old would want, until she asked, "You girls want some cookies?"

I told her that I didn’t think the Starbucks in Little Rock stayed open this late. It was 10:30, but she decided to take her chances in the drive-thru. As she rolled down her window, a cheery male voice came over the speaker. “Thank you for choosing Starbucks. Unfortunately, we’re closed now, but we’ll re-open at 5:30 in the morning.”

What? Did he think we might sit there at the drive-thru until the sun came up and we could score a triple-shot mocha latte? Did he think that we wanted whatever we were going to order so badly that we would be back the moment the doors opened again?

We then went on to McDonalds, which was open and had a four-car line at the drive-thru. This must be where the post-theater crowd hangs out in Little Rock. After asking the girls if they would share a McFlurry and not wanting to drag out the argument over which kind to get, we decided they could each have their own. I was still leaning toward the beating, but I wasn’t driving.

My friend placed the order and the lady told her that the ice cream machine was down. Apparently, the machine automatically shuts off at 11:30 every night so that it is cooled down before the midnight close. It was only 10:30, but the machine had not fallen back last weekend when daylight savings time ended. Perhaps the coffee machine should have called to remind it. I guess there will be no ice cream after 10:30 in downtown until we spring forward again.

So then my friend asked about cookies. The lady said, “We have cookies, but probably not the kind you’re thinking about.” “What kind am I thinking about,” asked my friend. “You probably want those good chocolate chip cookies they have at the Burger King,” said the voice. “but all we got is those boxes with the little cookies.”

“I don’t want cookies,” says one of the kids from the back seat.

“Do you have apple pies?” my friend asks, in what I hope is a last ditch effort.

Yes! They had the pies. Both kids wanted pies. Nobody had to be beaten.

Ahhh, to be able to practice what one preaches

2009-11-04T12:26:00.000-08:00

My house is a wreck. I've got overdue library books I can't find. There is a pile of laundry that needs to be put away. The refrigerator is almost empty. I've to three more days until I'm supposed to lead worship at a conference for Presby camp folks and my daughter will be out of school for all of them. Also, there's that whole Sunday morning worship thing to prepare for. Please God, send us a piano player soon! I may be teetering on the edge of a major panic attack or some sort of hysterical episode.

I was just fine tuning a draft of a message I started writing about two weeks ago and I had to stop and give myself a great big eye roll when I got to this part:

Take a Sabbath from anxiety by the realization that you can’t fix everything, nothing will ever be enough and the world is not dependant on you. Take a Sabbath from anxiety by acknowledging that all we need is available to us from God.

Did I really write that? And is anybody going to listen to me when I don't even listen to me? I think I have a little inner-work to do before I can be authentic in my presentation.

Spaghetti Supper and Pumpkin Fudge Recipe

2009-11-03T19:37:00.001-08:00

Spaghetti supper at church was a huge success. Over $1000 dollars raised. That will help pay the bill for the work that kept the wall from collapsing! The spaghetti was good, but the desserts were the big hit. People really outdid themselves. My mom made this fabulous banana pudding that the people working in the kitchen were holding back to make sure it didn't run out before they could have some. Our treasurer made some great cobbler. Friends Jim and Glen brought this ooey, gooey, chocolate cake, that I actually heard someone moan over as they ate it. And I brought the pumpkin fudge.

I've taken this dessert to two different places and it has received rave reviews. It really is yummy. Here is the recipe, adapted slightly from Southern Living's.

3 cups sugar
3/4 cup melted butter
2/3 cup evaporated milk
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
2 tablespoons corn syrup
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 (12-ounce) package white chocolate morsels
1 3/4 cup mini-marshmallows
1 cup chopped pecans, toasted (optional)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Stir together first 6 ingredients over medium-high heat, and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Cook, stirring constantly, until a candy thermometer registers 234° (soft-ball stage) or for about 12 minutes. Seriously, you need to stir constantly.

Remove pan from heat; stir in remaining ingredients until well blended (I find the white chocolate morsels don't melt all the way unless you chop them up first, but it is also good with some small white chocolate chunks in it). Pour into a greased aluminum foil-lined 9-inch square pan. Let stand 2 hours or until completely cool; cut fudge into squares. Don't make this unless you have somewhere to share it. It makes a lot and there is danger is having it in your home.

Not a Joke

2009-11-01T18:33:00.000-08:00

This is Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken. It will be available to you in April of 2010. Seriously.

I am currently resting my injured shoulder (have no idea how it became injured) on nice squishy ice pack. A friend of mine who is an OT gave me the "ice pack recipe". You put 1 cup rubbing alcohol and 3 cups water into a gallon-sized ziploc bag. It will get as cold as a regular ice pack, but the alcohol keeps the mixture from freezing solid and it conforms to the shape of whatever body part you need iced. So much more comfy than the cubes.

Hoping to be able to sleep better tonight. Hopefully, the ice, ibuprofen, stretching regimen will help ease the pain. Am having newfound empathy for people who deal with chronic pain. After just over two days with this pain, I'm kind of a wreck. My thinking and coping skills are somewhat (some might say severely) compromised. Folks who deal with it every day for an indefinite amount of time are made of stronger stuff than me.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

So my husband went with some of the other neighborhood dads to take the kids trick-or-treating while I stayed home to dole out the candy. Our neighborhood is a popular destination for Halloween. We have sidewalks and well-lit streets, so it's a great place to bring your kids. We only had a handful this year with no costumes, the rest were fun to see--until we ran out of candy. Maddie and a friend came back to our house to check out their stash. I was disappointed that Junior Mints and York Peppermint Patties did not make a showing in my daughter's treat bag this year. I always get those since she does not like mint flavored anything.

While I was handing out candy, I was listening to last week's "This American Life" from NPR via podcast, and I've never been so scared in my life. The first part of the program was about the "hell house" that is run every October by a church in Cedar Hill, Texas. I was beyond appalled and am pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares about it tonight. While I would never claim to be a Biblical scholar, I did go to seminary, and I'm pretty sure that Jesus never tried to frighten anyone into following him.

So, in spite of the fact that the roof leaks and the HVAC unit in the sanctuary is out and money is short, I'm more determined than ever to make First Pres in downtown NLR work. Not only do we need to reach people who have never had a church, we need to reach people who have been scarred by places like Cedar Hill.

But Halloween or not, this is the best night of the year. We get an extra hour of sleep. Don't forget to fall back. Wonder how many people will show up early for church tomorrow.

At Least a Wall Didn't Collapse

2009-10-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

We made it just in time. At the church, there has been water bouncing off an awning and onto a window (with close to 100-year-old panes) and dripping down into the wall. Apparently there has been concern for awhile that the windows might break because of this water damage, but little did they know that the wall could have collapsed all together. After removing the ancient windows (none broken so far!), the able crew, under the direction of master carpenter David Murray, dug out enough rotted wood to fill the back of a pick-up truck. At one point, some brick from the exterior of the building crumbled and fell on one of the workers, who was, mercifully, uninjured. At some point, we need to get storm windows put on the outside to protect this antique glass, but that will have to come later.

If it is possible that one can spend too much time thinking about worship, I have done it this week. Between planning for Sunday worship and preparing worship leader at a conference in about a week-and-a-half, I am up to my ears in liturgy and power point presentations. I've got both my guitars out (tuned to different keys), a stack of books piled high next to my favorite chair and long shopping list of stuff I need to purchase (including gluten free bread) before next Sunday. I may be all out of creative thoughts until at least the beginning of next year.

I am a little worn out from the ups and downs of new church development. Presbytery may say it's a redevelopment, but it's really a new church in an old building. There is no infrastructure. No computer. No printer. A very worn out copier. No mailing list. No pledge drive in at least three years. No long distance service on the phone. There is wireless internet and very cool people (artists and musicians) who rent space at the church. And an ever-growing pool of people who are potential church members. The only indication that it is not a new church is one of our members who refuses to wear a name tag because she's been a member of the church for 65 years and everyone should know her name. Other than that, it's pretty much a clean slate.

This is the banner at the top of the argentanews.com blog. Our second annual spaghetti supper is coming up. This is the kind of great press you get in a community full of artists.

Fall Fun Weekend

2009-10-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

Fun weekend of fall festivals and pumpkin carving parties. Rained all week last week and looks to do the same this week, but the weekend was gorgeous. Because I have way more to do than I can say grace over, I decided to try a new recipe. I made this fabulous pumpkin fudge that is my new favorite thing. So I took it all to the pumpkin carving party on a paper plate and left it! It is a dangerous thing indeed.

Am up to my ears in worship! Between the new church and being worship leader for a conference that is coming up, I've got songs and prayers and sermons and poems filling up and spilling out of my brain. After church was over yesterday, I declared a worship-free day just to try and clear my head a little.

Speaking of worship, I have to poke just a little fun at this. A friend of mine goes to Church at Rock Creek, and I just found out that they offer an express worship service for people who can only spare 30 minutes a week for church. You sing two songs, have a prayer and get a shortened version of the sermon. It's like the Reader's Digest version of church. I know it's one of the biggest churches in town, so they're clearly doing something right, but I'm still going to laugh about the Express Worship.

Just an update on the Ms. Tatum (who has a number of names that she uses). She showed up during worship on Sunday wanting to talk to the pastor. She's done this at Grace before and I think the plan is to get money from church members who just don't want her disrupting the service. Our folks weren't biting and told her she could wait for the pastor. When service was finished, she was gone. She did, however, call today and our church secretary passed along her number to me. She used a completely different name this time. A new one I had not heard before. As she started in on her tale of woe, I stopped her and told her that I simply didn't believe her stories and we would not be helping her with money. I expected to be yelled and/or cursed at, but she just said, "Alright then." And hung up. If only I had done that years ago!

Busy Week Expanded

2009-10-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

I have discovered that Monday house chores are much less dreary when I download the weekend's editions of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" and "The News from Lake Wobegon" on my I-pod. They are free podcasts, so I have it set up to automatically download every week. It gives me about an hour-and-a-half of stuff to listen to while working around the house. Then I switch over to music.

When you need to increase worship attendance weekly in order to get a church back up and running, there is a bit of pressure on the sermonizing. In a normal church setting, one can expect that the preacher will have off Sundays or some sermons that are better than others. But when you really need everyone who comes for the first time to want to come back again, and you really don't have a music program, and you're worshipping in a fellowship hall, you better have a really killer sermon...every time. But when I start to feel the pressure, I remind myself that I really do believe that God has plans for this church in this community at this time and that it really isn't all on me.

My best news this week was a response from someone I had invited to church. A former camper of mine told me he'll be out of town this week, but relayed that when he told a friend that I was trying to get him back in church, the friend said that he had heard there was a younger woman preacher at that church and that people were really excited about it. Did you catch the "younger" part?

Am loving my extended community of pastor friends and Christian educators who have been great about sharing ideas about evangelism and worship and grant seeking. The Internet is a great thing.

Got to try the Jambalaya yesterday. One of the local restaurants in Argenta has a cook that makes a different soup or stew each week and he only does the jambalaya about once a month. One of our church members who rents studio space in the church gets an alert on her cell when the jambalaya is ready. I've been struggling with sinus problems all week and I believe that cleared it all up.

Am also getting ready to be the worship leader for PCCCA conference in about two weeks. I am not ready and need to get so quickly!

Busy Week

2009-10-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

Have not blogged at all this week. It is nine p.m. and I am the last member of my family to go to sleep tonight. I figure it will take me about two minutes after I shut down this computer. Church is getting good buzz. Husband survived major presentation. Daughter thinks the church is cool and like hanging out there. Good week. Long week, but good week. More later.

Jesus and Argenta

2009-10-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

Jesus of Argenta

Great first Sunday at First Church in NLR. We had 50 people, which I think is more than double the usual attendance. Great support from the community and from friends. There's a lot of excitement brewing. I guess we'll see just how much when it's time to turn in pledge cards!

So far, all seems well, in spite of the fact that I've totally changed the worship service and style there. The congregation is worshipping in the fellowship hall because we can't afford to replace the busted heating and air conditioning unit (yet!). And the people who have been keeping the church alive are used to gathering around a couple of tables and drinking coffee and visiting until time for a very informal worship service. Now, we've ditched all the tables, faced the room in a different direction and brought in pews and benches. No one fainted or pitched a fit, so I think we're going to be okay.

The painting was done by artist and elder Sherrie Shepherd to go along with the sermon series, "The Jesus You Should Know." It's awesome!

After a worship service, a potluck and a session meeting, I am plum wore out! Tomorrow I take a break from working on First Church stuff, but will spend the whole day working on worship for the upcoming PCCCA (Presby Christian Camps and Conference Association) conference. Wonder when the laundry will get done? I need elves.

Only in Arkansas

2009-10-17T16:58:00.001-07:00

could you have a non-alcoholic event celebrating German heritage, but Lutheran High has apparently been doing it for years. When Maddie heard that we were going to an Oktoberfest where they didn't serve beer, she said, "Well, that's not right." It was a pleasant, well-run little festival and fundraiser for the school, but it wasn't very German. The wiener dog race was pretty funny, though.

Tomorrow is my first Sunday at the new church. Should be fun. Should be interesting. Hope everyone else who gathers for worship feels the same way.

Have I Paid Too Much At the Fair?

2009-10-16T21:13:00.001-07:00

Holy Cow! I had no idea. I'm not even sure I've ever been to the Arkansas State Fair, so I just didn't know. Between the parking, the entrance fees and ride fees and the food, how in the world do all those people who were there afford to be there? And we didn't even let Maddie play any games. Do people save up for this?

Our daughter has gotten daring all of sudden when it comes to rides and she seemed up for anything today. My husband and I went back and forth between being excited that she is no longer so afraid and being scared out of our minds that she got on some of those rides. She had so much fun, I almost forgot about how much money we spent. And when that didn't work, I tried to pacify myself with the notion that the money provides jobs at a time when so many need all the work they can get. A radio station was handing out large stickers, saying, "We have staff people giving out money to people they see wearing our stickers." While Skip said, "No thank you." I took one and placed in very prominently on my person, convinced that I would be the recipient of a large amount of cash at any time. Didn't happen.

There was much food to be had. We couldn't roll with the fried coke or the fried Twinkies or the fried butter. We stuck with the classics--french fries and fried green tomatoes. My favorite "food picture" was a guy walking down the middle of the fairway with his pot belly hanging out of the bottom of his polo shirt with chili-cheese fries in one hand and a giant pickle in the other. Wish I could have caught that one on film.

We let a great chance pass us by. The rain has made sure that all the vendors in the Hall of Industry have had a rotten week. Skip and I have talked for awhile about getting a sauna to put in the backyard. It's a "someday" thing. Like people talk about having a vacation home or a boat "someday". The sauna vendor at the fair had had such a bad week, he would have sold us one for half-off the retail price. And I've priced them before, so it really was a great deal. Unfortunately, even a half-priced sauna isn't in our budget at the moment. But I've made a mental note to head back down to the Hall of Industry the next year that it rains the week of the fair and see what kind of deals I can strike.

Tomorrow, the much more affordable Lutheran High School Oktoberfest is on our agenda. There is weiner dog racing at 4 p.m. Who can pass that up?

A Distinct Lack of Christian Charity

2009-10-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

I still can't believe it.

I was up at the church (First Presbyterian in downtown NLR's Argenta district) for only my second day of work. I was not working on a sermon or getting the music together. I was mopping and resealing the hardwood floor in the entry way to the Fellowship Hall where everyone will enter come Sunday morning. I also put up a curtain I made to cover a doorless doorway into a room that's basically been turned into a storage unit. They really should have a class in guerilla decorating, quick cleaning and furniture moving in seminary. The church hasn't had a cleaning service in a while, but they are creative people and can move quickly. One of our members ran down to her fav restaurant and hired one of the waitresses to come down after her shift to mop the Fellowship Hall. All of this, I can believe. It takes more than prayers and preaching to get a church up and running again.

So, when I was at Grace, we often helped people who came in looking for money for food or gas or medicine. There was one woman who came in over and over. At the time, she called herself Ms. Tatum. If there was a tragedy in town--such as children dying in a fire, a horrific car accident, a shooting--Ms. Tatum claimed kinship to at least one (if not all) of the victims. She has also been the victim of cancer, kidney disease and migraines. At one point, I feared our church secretary might kill her if she showed up one more time. Then we went to a meeting hosted by one of the organizations in town who serves the homeless to learn how we could best serve the people who came in to our churches for handouts. In talking with other churches in the area, we found out that Ms. Tatum had been to them all with a number of tales of woe. I think we figured out that she had buried at least five parents, 10 children and several siblings. There were also quite a few relatives who had suffered disfiguring accidents.

Well, you may have guessed it. I've been out of the country for THREE YEARS and Ms. Tatum arrives on my second day on the job at a new church. The guys who run the recording studio let her in when she came to their door looking for the pastor. This time, she used a different name--even though she remembered me. Perhaps she has married. She claimed to have her wheelchair-bound brother (who had no legs) in the car with two of her kids and they needed gas and food. She also told me she had had cancer again and pulled back her cap to reveal a head full of hair while saying, "See, I've lost all my hair." The other church member who were there helping clean started digging in their purses for money, so I quickly told the former Ms. Tatum that we did not keep cash or food at the church. I gave her four dollars for gas and told her that she was in luck. That much money would get her over to First Pres in Little Rock where they were serving lunch right then. I escorted her out the door, and then told the guys at the recording studio to never let her in again. I am not planning on renewing my relationship with Ms. Tatum. I would like to be a better person, but I only have so much energy to give, and I've decided that spending it on her would not be good stewardship of my resources.

Formal Apologies

2009-10-14T17:16:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking of having this form printed up on large-format sticky pads. I've started my tenure at a church in need of growth and am getting ready to shake things up, so I might need to keep a large supply of these. You can click on it to see it full size.

I've also been one to lean more toward asking for forgiveness than permission, so I hope God will grant me the wisdom to know when to push forward and when to hold back at this new call.

Victories Come in All Shapes and Sizes

2009-10-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight my daughter did not care for the homemade chicken noodle soup that I so lovingly prepared tonight. I told her that I had used up all my food-making energy on the soup and didn't have any left. If she wanted something else, she would have to find it herself. She went to the pantry and pulled out the peanut butter and the bread and made her own peanut butter sandwich AND she put the jar of peanut butter and the bread BACK in the pantry. Ahhhh. I feel the winds of change moving in our family. Now I just need to not look in her room tonight and ruin this moment.

Despite my daughter's critique, I have to marvel at how good a few simple ingredients placed in a pot to simmer can turn out to be. Some shredded chicken with some chopped onion, celery and carrots, coupled with what was left of a box of penne becomes a feast when brought to a boil in some chicken stock and water. Even if Maddie didn't like the soup, she helped make it. I've heard it predicted that cooking will become a lost art in the next 20 years. I'm doing my part to keep it alive. Not that Martha Steward or the Barefoot Contessa have anything to fear from me. Tomorrow is guitar lesson night, which means takeout for dinner.

Culture in the Rock

2009-10-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

Very entertaining weekend. Saturday night, hubby and I had free tickets to the Conway Symphony Orchestra performance at the Reynolds Hall at the U of Central A. Wow! First of all, that facility is amazing. It's a professional performance hall with dressing rooms, laundry facilities (for touring groups), state of the art staging and a light and sound board that are the latest and greatest.

And then the orchestra, under the direction of Israel Getzhov, was fabulous. It's Haydn's 200th birthday and so they did one of his London Symphonies and them some Russian pieces with combined choirs from UCA and Hendrix. Mr. (Dr.?) Getzhov is not only a great conductor, he is also a great educator and was a delight to listen to as he gave us the background on the pieces and the composers. Really fun night.

Sunday afternoon the whole family went skateboarding. Oh yeah, we did. Daughter and Dad went on Saturday to get her outfitted with the full kit--board, wheels, trucks, helmet, shoes and wrist guards. Section 8 Skateboards on Bowman Curve will hook you up. They were out of knee pads, but should have some in soon. Skip bought this big long board when we were in London and I dug out my custom, signed long board from back in my Surf Expo days and we hit the empty parking lot of an office park nearby. It was a lot of fun. Maddie is going to be pretty good. I'm thinking that between the electric guitar and the skateboard, I'm going to escape having to be a cheerleader mom. We're on the right path.

Sunday night, we went to hear David Sedaris. 1300 of the coolest people in Central Arkansas gathered in what used to be the worship space for Fellowship Bible Church to hear the slightly bent humorist and author. My stomach muscles still hurt this morning from laughing.

So for those who thought we'd be trading in cultural opportunities by ditching London for Little Rock, I have to say that the greater Central Arkansas area has much more to offer than a movie theater and a Barnes and Noble.

Westminster and Weldon's Meat Market

2009-10-10T06:24:00.000-07:00

My hometown of Hot Springs has been so built up heading west down Central Avenue, that I wouldn't even have known I was in the place where I grew up if it weren't for the landmarks of Westminster Presbyterian Church and Weldon's Meat Market. The only two establishments that seem to have remained from when I was a child.

I continue to marvel at the number of shopping establishments that have sprung up both in Little Rock and in Hot Springs, yet the populations of the two towns aren't much bigger than they were 20 years ago. So we all simply must be buying more. Our need for stuff seems to have grown by leaps and bounds.

I was in Hot Springs for the 122nd meeting of the Presbytery of Arkansas. I am a lousy Presbyterian. The policies and procedures that must be followed in those meetings drive me up a wall. We actually had to vote on our ability vote on an item without amendment. Which meant we all had to agree that an item could go before Presbytery and be voted on without anyone from the floor begin able to offer up changes. And then there was a woman who was a candidate for ordination who had to preach and then be examined on the floor of Presbytery. I really am not a fan of the process. Between the seminary classes, the hoops you have to jump through with the Presbytery, the ordination exams and the public oral examinations, it is not a kind and gentle process. You better be ready to put on the Gospel armor if you want to ordained in the PCUSA.

There was some really cool news about the solar power initiative our Synod (made up of Presbies in OK, TX, LA and AR) are beginning. We are the Synod of the Sun, so it only makes sense that we would help bring solar power to places in the developing world in desperate need of alternative energy source.

And then, on a personal note, I got approval from the COM to be the "temporary supply" pastor for First Pres in the downtown North Little Rock neighborhood of Argenta. I start a week from tomorrow. It's a place with a lot of potential and I'm looking forward to seeing what Jesus might be stirring up in us and through us there in Argenta.

Holiday Hopping

2009-10-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

I am so ready to feel better so that I can fully enjoy being back in the States for the great fall holidays of Halloween and Thanksgiving. While the American Women's Club in Duesseldorf did a great job with a Halloween party and Trunk or Treat activities, Halloween just wasn't the same in Germany or in England. Though it's catching on, Halloween is definitely an American phenomenon. And then, of course, Thanksgiving isn't even a holiday anywhere but here and Canada (I think theirs is at the end of October). Are their other places that do an official Thanksgiving? Long-time blog followers will remember what I had to pay for a turkey and 8 sweet potatoes in Germany. And canned pumpkin was a specialty item indeed. So I'm ready to decorate and enjoy the pumpkin recipes and carvings as well as the mums and the cornucopias, et al.

However, come Christmas time, I'd love to beam back over to Germany. Nobody does Christmas better. Everything is so lovely. There's no over-done tackiness. There are big Christmas markets and little village Christmas markets and markets at castles that feature only handmade items. And there is food and drink that is only available during the holidays, and that makes it all taste so much better. Before we moved to Germany, I masted the art of baking Christmas stollen. It was so plentiful there that I haven't made it in several years, but I'll have to crank some out this year.

So, once again, I'm ready to completely shed this flu bug and get on with enjoying my American fall festivities.

Chariots of Fire

2009-10-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight my eight-year-old mimed slow motion running while singing the Chariots of Fire theme song. I'm pretty sure she's never seen that movie, so I asked her why she knew the song. She looked at me like I was crazy. "That's the song they always play when people are running toward each other or toward something in the movies or on cartoons." Then she rattled off a list: Shrek, Phineas and Ferb, Lilo and Stitch. I guess I hadn't realized how widely and often that song has been appropriated for all manner of slow-mo running scenes. I attempted to educate my daughter on cinematic history, but she wasn't much interested.

Of course, my favorite appropriation of the theme song occurs in the original National Lampoon's Vacation movie. The scene where Clark Griswold and his son Rusty make the last part of their journey to Wally World on foot only to find that the park is closed for maintenance is a classic by anyone's standards.

I am tired of being sick and feeling guilty for being tired of being sick. In spite of feeling like I've been run over by some large mode of transportation, I am in better shape than a lot of folks. No hacking cough. No raging temp. No hospitalization. And, although I have many projects/sermons/worship services I need to be working on, I do not need to be AT work right now, so I'm ahead on that score as well. My house is a little gross, but I'm about to get on the horn to contact someone to help with that one. So, all and all, I can't really complain about a little enforced rest time.

Emerging

2009-10-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

After three days in bed, I'm beginning to feel like a person again. Not a strong, healthy person, but at least in the human family. My doctor prescribed Tamiflu for me. Just a tip: do not take on an empty stomach. That was a miserable lesson to learn. It's extremely expensive, and I have to wonder how much it helps. Hard to know. I understand that the CDC is recommending NOT prescribing it to healthy adults who don't have other health risks, but my doctor is apparently not following those guidelines. And, while I'm not one to rush into taking expensive, possibly unnecessary medicines, this flu season and all its media coverage has made me want to take whatever help I can get. My hope now is that it will not spread to the rest of the family. I do seem to be the weakest link in our household when it comes to immune systems, so the rest of the family may escape unscathed.

What a year of adjustments this is going to be for people in America. Not only are most of us learning to live on less money, but we will also most likely have to stop long enough to be sick at least once in the next few months. This flu is not the kind of thing where you can just pop some Ibuprofen and keep going. It lays you flat. Getting more rest. Spending less money. What is the world coming to?

Flu

2009-10-02T13:59:00.000-07:00

Really bad flu. Can I get a refund on the $25 I spent on the flu shot?

Something Went Terribly Awry

2009-10-01T01:03:00.000-07:00

Suicide victim allowed to die

In the UK, a woman suffering from depression used a living will to aid in her suicide. She drank a bottle of poison, called the ambulance and handed them her living will. It prevented them from employing life-saving measures, but allowed them to keep her comfortable until she died. The woman had attempted suicide several times before and had always been saved by medical professionals, but because of her legal end-of-life directive, doctors felt they could not intervene.

I am not at all a proponent of prolonging life by any means necessary and have always been in favor of living wills, but it seems that something went terribly wrong here. A young woman who wants to end her life calls for help so that she will not die alone and in pain, and her wishes are honored? The fact that she called for help wasn't a cue for the medical professionals to step in and save her? Did it not occur to anyone that, had she really wanted to be successful, she could have employed a number of other options that did not involve medical assistance?

People who battle severe, chronic depression live in a terrible place, but surely we can do better by them than merely helping them to die more comfortably.

Typhoon Ondoy and the Arkansas Lottery

2009-09-29T03:59:00.000-07:00

There hasn't been a great deal of coverage here in the US, but a typhoon in the Phillipines has hit hard and affected thousands of people. The water is not receding very quickly, so people cannot even get back to their homes and there is much concern over diseases that will begin to spread due to all that standing water. A friend of mine from Duesseldorf and her family are living in Manilla now. Fortunately, their home is safe, but just three miles from them people have had to seek shelter. Here are some of her pictures and a couple of links where you can go to help.

Presbyterian Disaster Relief

Red Cross Phillpines

The lottery in Arkansas began yesterday. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. If it works like it is supposed to and provides scholarships to Arkansas students, then I can feel a little better about it. But, seeing and hearing the coverage of opening day, it does indeed look like those scholarships will be funded off the backs of poor people. And I know nobody is ever forced to buy a lottery ticket, but for those who have so little, the potential of a big payoff is just too hard to resist.

The big powerball ticketing starts on October 31. I was thinking about all the things I could do if I won a large amount of money. I've got a list in my head about a mile long of all the groups and organizations I could help. I could replace my stained sink and get a microwave that works. I would buy a couple of pairs of outrageously expensive shoes. And then I thought about what a mess it would be to suddenly come in to a large amount of money. How would you pastor a church when you could buy the church several times over? Could my daughter still get on the bus every morning and go to school or would I worry about her safety? And how would we balance being able to afford anything we wanted and instilling good values about what's really important to our child? I think winning the lottery for a lot of people must be a real lesson in being careful what you wish for.

Pop Culture Week

2009-09-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

This past week was a busy one. Not only was I finishing up a stewardship video for the Presbytery of Arkansas

and working on a sermon, but it was fall television premiere week. Thank goodness for the miracle of DVR.

The much-anticipated two-hour Grey's Anatomy season six premiere was somewhat diminished by the astonishing

number of commercials shown. I don't think the view got more than eight minutes of show at a time before a

commercial interruption. Caught a couple of the new sit-coms, but couldn't say I'd be marking my calendar to catch them

again. The third season of Mad Men is back and as fabulous as ever. But the winner this season for best entertainment

value is Glee. Even my husband thinks it's entertaining, but it particularly resonates with those of us whose life

in high school revolved around choir practice.

And if we didn't get enough high school angst from Glee on Wednesday night, we topped off at the Taylor Swift concert last night. You get a talented singer songwriter who was a junior high outcast, had her heart broken too many times to count in high school and is only 18, and you get a whole lot of songs about romance, broken hearts and revenge. It was a good show--even though young Miss Swift is quite a little drama queen. And I imagine the 13 to 16-year-old female crowd had one of the best nights of their young lives.

Meatballs and Uncertainty

2009-09-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

CS Lewis said that the best children's stories are ones that also speak to adults. The movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs fits the bill. What a great movie! It was fun and entertaining for both me and my eight-year-old, and it had something to say about temptation, greed, the need for parental approval and our society's emphasis on physical appearance. Plus, as a friend of mine pointed out, the film maker provided a great educational moment by giving the female lead a peanut allergy.

This is the lead paragraph in an article in Time magazine this week.

The brain loathes uncertainty. In laboratory experiments, humans actually fear uncertainty more than physical pain. We are simply wired this way.

The article is about the swine flu and how our minds may be our biggest enemy in battling it. But I was kind of stunned by the above statement. I know we don't like uncertainty and that it makes us uncomfortable, but that we would rather be in physical pain than in a state of un-knowingness is pretty amazing.

Kind of of lends at least some explanation to this whole healthcare debate debacle and all the anger surrounding it. Maybe our Christian nation needs to adopt some Buddhist practices to make us more comfortable in the now when our future is unclear. Our maybe we simply need to practice what we preach and actually live like we believe that God is indeed God. And that even when our best-laid plans (like turning water into food) go awry, we have one constant on whom we can rely.

Dinner and a Show

2009-09-18T18:03:00.001-07:00

My husband is AWOL for the weekend. Actually, he is AWL (absent with leave), so I took my daughter to her favorite (and her father's least favorite) restaurant in town. It's a pizza place that is a gi-normous leap up from the kid's place with the irritating mouse, but it also has a game area where the kids can play and win tickets to redeem for prizes. It's not my first choice for a dining experience, but there was a little extra tonight.

The place was packed, so every chair was taken. While we were eating, an older gentleman and his wife along with the man's daughter and son-in-law sat down next to us. I could tell from their conversation that the older couple was visiting from out of town. After awhile, the man stood up, went to the middle of the crowded and very noisy restaurant and asked for everyone's attention. He was standing with his back to me, so I only got snippets of what he said. The gist of it was that he was glad to be in Arkansas and that he was proud to live in the greatest country on earth. And then, he broke into song. He sang it well and with gusto. While I couldn't hear all the words, it was basically about how great America and Jesus are. When he was finished, everyone in the restaurant applauded, and he sat back down.

Now the best part was that the three other people he was with acted like this was not in the least bit out of the ordinary. They didn't look embarrassed at all. There were no shrugs or eye rolling as if to say "Dad's at it again." No, they just went on eating their dinner as if this was a perfectly normal thing to do.

I kind of hope this behavior takes off. It might be kind of nice (for awhile anyway) if people got up in public places and announced that they were so happy/proud/grateful about something that they just had to share a song with us all. That could really take the monotony out of waiting in line at the DMV. It could add some excitement to an otherwise uneventful elevator ride. It could break the tension of the next town hall meeting on healthcare reform. I see some really positive possibilities here.

Best Church Ad Ever

2009-09-16T08:42:00.001-07:00

Are You Happy?

2009-09-15T08:28:00.001-07:00

Happiness is a hot topic these days. There are many, many books out there on how to be happy and how to find happiness, but I came across this flow chart the other day, and I think it kind of captures the key to happiness.

I suppose this guide could break down with people who really don't know whether or not they want to be happy, but I think it's a good guide for most of us.

Of course, there are things we can't change. People, for example. We can't change other people. We can try, but of course, it's like trying to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. For those times, I go beyond the flow chart and turn to Acceptance Therapy.

I'm practicing a little acceptance therapy myself as I try to recover from a stomach bug. But it's easier to be allow for recovery time when you have parents in town who help with your child.

Order from One Caring Place

Please Don't Interrupt

2009-09-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

It's an ongoing issue at our home. My daughter is often oblivious to the fact that others are talking, or doesn't feel like what she has to say can wait, or thinks that when you pause to take a breath, you have finished your thought. How are we ever going to teach her not to interrupt when everyone from congressmen to Grammy winners does it on national television?

Kanye Interrupts Obama

I feel like we need Julia Sugarbaker to enter stage left and ask everyone, "Have you all just completely lost your minds?" We certainly seem to have lost something. Our common sense, perhaps?

So here are some basic principles I hope to instill in my daughter and that I hope I live out myself.

1. Don't interrupt. Let the other person have their say--even if you vehemently disagree with them. And actually listen to what he/she is saying instead of tuning him/her out while formulating your own response.

2. Don't call someone out in front of others. If you think someone one is lying, incorrect or just plain full of it, don't point it out it in front of others. If you must do it at all, wait until you can correct the person privately.

3. Let people have their moment. When someone is performing or making a speech or winning and award or breaking a record or executing some heroic act, let it be about them. Never usurp the moment with your own accomplishments, agenda or opinions.

4. Don't be a one-upper. This is letting people have their moment in the smaller, every-day type of situations. When a friend is telling you about their great beach vacation on the Panhandle, don't start talking about your last Caribbean cruise. When a colleague is sharing about how she is, after weeks of training, finally running a nine-minute mile, don't talk about how you can do it in eight.

5. Pay attention and remember. It will go a long way. The girl who answers the phone at the front desk will always make sure you get your calls because you remember that her child is terrified of thunder and ask about his well-being the day after a big storm. Your neighbor will always look out for your house when you're away because you remember he has diabetes and always make special sugar-free treats for him at Christmas.

All of these things are about simply being present to the people around you and to their wants and needs and feelings instead of being so wrapped up in your own. Perhaps we should all start wearing big "It's not always about me" t-shirts. As an only child who is the mother of an only child, I used to think that was a struggle unique to those of us who grew up without siblings. But lately it seems that it is a growing edge for most of the population.

Maybe we can all be a little less Kanye and a little more Beyonce.

Beyonce Makes Good

Fear and Cake (that would make a really great band name)

2009-09-13T03:13:00.001-07:00

Yikes! You know how when you buy something from Amazon the page tells you that people who bought this item also bought... I always kind of like that feature when it comes to books and music because sometimes you discover a new writer or band that, sure enough, you like, too. But this page is a little disturbing.

People who bought baseball bats also bought...

And I can't decide what is more disturbing, the above link or the news out of London that an award winning movie can't find a distributor here in the United States because it's about Charles Darwin. Seriously? No distributor in the US will pick up a critically acclaimed movie about a renowned historical figure because it disagrees with the book of Genesis? Coupled with the Obama school speech boycott, I have to wonder how we've become such a fearful people. Are we so unsure and unsteady in our own beliefs that we can't even allow ourselves or our children to watch something that might challenge those beliefs? It all seems very un-American.

Creation

On a less fearful note, I (with the help of many others) was able to pull of the surprise of my husband's 40th birthday party. He had a really good time. Good German food from The Pantry, and I have to give a shout out to The Blue Cake Company for an amazing looking cake that was also one of the best I've ever tasted. Each layer is decorated with the colors and the logo of his favorite European sports teams.

Respect, Remembrance and Renewal

2009-09-11T05:41:00.000-07:00

In the wake of Rep. Joe Wilson's outburst during President Obama's speech, I've been thinking about respect and how anger causes us to toss our manners and our decency away. By many accounts, Rep Wilson is a pretty good guy and this outburst was completely uncharacteristic of him. His rant created a quite a financial windfall for the man who will be running against him in the next election. But, I understand, it has also boosted his own fundraising with certain groups.

I'm not sure why so many people are reacting with such hateful words and actions towards Obama. I have to wonder if it's because we can't feel comfortable making fun of him. I mean, look at what we did to Bush. Comedians had a field day, and I laughed harder than anyone. I was no fan of Bush, but I didn't hate him. But yes, I did poke fun and adopted the word "stragtegery" into my everyday vocabulary. I actually got so bad, I can't tell you which funny things that Bush actually said or which ones were creations of Will Ferrell playing Bush. But no one is making fun of Obama. Is it because he doesn't provide any material or because we are uncomfortable poking fun at the first African-American President? Where would the line be between satire and racism? And what might happen if we crossed it? I'm not saying that huge issues like the war in the Middle East and healthcare are laughing matters, but I really believe if we were laughing a little more we'd be hating a little less.

On this eighth anniversary of 911, I can't help but wish for we could reclaim that sense of community that permeated the country in the wake of the attacks. Yes, there was fear and anger and hatred and a mis-placed rage directed at anyone who even looked like they could be of Middle Eastern descent, and I wouldn't want to go THERE again. But it was a time when partisanship was put aside. People had a renewed sense of just exactly who our neighbors are and a deep desire to help those who needed it most.

My daughter is learning all about the Presidents in a book that her Oma and Opa gave her. She has not failed to notice that there are no women in the list. She's planning to be the first. Hopefully, but the time she gets there, we will be a more respectful, loving and service-oriented nation. And I'm sure she'll give the people plenty to laugh about!

Last Thing on This

2009-09-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know everyone has beat the Obama school speech to death, but I did want to share a remark from my friend, Preston, who is a pastor and former soldier.

I am saying this first and foremost as a former soldier: Parents who sent the message that it is OK to not listen to the President, to not give him the benefit of the doubt as the leader of the free world, are sending a dangerous message to their children. A message that is unpatriotic at its core, That undermines the very notion of democracy. It is OK to disagree with our leaders but it is wrong to teach our children they don't have to listen to them, that they can simply turn him/her off because they "might" disagree. I would defend this principle under any President as it far trancends individual Presidents and has everything to do with teaching children to be responsible, informed and while holding the right to protest, respectful to our leaders.

On another subject entirely, my kid is really starting to rock her guitar. Look out Taylor Swift!

Something a Man Never Hears

2009-09-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

So I was a preacher-for-hire again today. And as the female liturgist introduced me, she said, "And isn't she pretty? Just look at her!" I'm pretty sure they never introduced a male preacher with, "What a handsome pastor we have with us today." Hey, I'll take it. I was also thrilled when the mother of a youth I used to work with thought that he and I were the same age, and when I told her I had 10 years on her son, she went on about how young I looked. I have no idea if the congregation heard what I was saying, but I'm certainly feeling good about my appearance. Perhaps I'll just ditch that I'm-turning-40-this-year diet. It's not going so well anyway.

While being a sub-preacher isn't so great for the family's sense of continuity and togetherness, it is nice to go to different churches each week. When you're only going to be there for the one Sunday, you can say more. For instance, in this sermon on a passage from James where he is chastising his readers for how they treat the poor, I brought up the issue of healthcare reform. Not sure I would have broached that topic from the pulpit had I been their regular pastor. Maybe so, but probably not. Am beginning to see why the whole interim pastor thing appeals to folks.

Not planning to labor much this Labor Day. Maybe some laundry. A little guitar and piano playing. We're thinking we may take our daughter out to her first visit to Waffle House. Can't believe we've let her live this long without exposing her to that particular culinary and cultural experience. The Waffle House was founded in Atlanta ON Labor Day in 1955, and those of you in Georgia know that you can often find a Waffle House on both sides of the highway at an exit. When we lived in Atlanta, it seemed like so much revolved around the Waffle House. There was even a radio contest where you could win tickets to a sold out concert if you went into the Waffle House where the guy from the station was sitting with the tickets and belted out the first line to the band's hit song. All over Greater Atlanta, folks were walking into Waffle Houses belting out a Stone Temple Pilot song and then, if no ticket guy popped up, leaving and finding another one. This contest went on from early morning until well in the afternoon because there are SO many of these restaurants. Yes, we have definitely been remiss by not sharing the Waffle House experience with our only offspring.

Why does in Always Happen at Waffle House

Why Americans Celebrate Labor Day

Favorite Religious News of the Week

2009-09-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

So the folks living on the Bua Island in Figi are under new requirements for how to conduct and dress themselves on Sundays so that they might be more respectful of the Lord's Day.

Take Your Pants off For God

A different look at who the homeless really are

The New Face of Homelessness

Definitely on my "to read" list

Jesus Girls

And, finally, proof that we ain't telling the story in ways that people can hear it.

Rising tide of "nones"

Conservatives Against Learning

2009-09-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

Seriously??? There are people who are urging children to stay home from school when President Obama's message will be broadcast. Have we really gotten that bad that we don't want our children to have the opportunity to hear what our President has to say? Craziness!

Political Punch

Had a great lunch today with friends from college. Three lawyers, a minister and a college professor walk in to a Mexican restaurant... Who's got the punch line?

And then for people too caught up in Facebook to have much time with their Bible. Check out this Passion of Christ, as told by Facebook

The Ashes

2009-08-23T21:18:00.001-07:00

Well, England got the Ashes back today. What are the Ashes, you may ask? Clearly, you are not a follower of the game of cricket.

The Ashes is a Test cricket series played between England and Australia.

The series is named after an obituary published in a British newspaper, The Sporting Times, in 1882 after a match at The Oval in which Australia beat England on an English ground for the first time. The obituary stated that English cricket had died, and the body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia. The English media dubbed the next English tour to Australia (1882–83) as the quest to regain The Ashes.
During that tour a small terracotta urn was presented to England captain Ivo Bligh by a group of Melbourne women. There are many stories that circulate as to the actual origins of the Ashes.

Today, after many days of play, England emerged triumphant and has regained the Ashes. It was a big day at our house.

Church and China

2009-08-16T18:22:00.000-07:00

Went to Morrilton to preach this morning and got to meet our friends' new exchange student from China. Kendi is from Guangzhuo (guan jo), China and will be a senior at Morrilton High School this year. In our ongoing it's-a-small-world kind of life, we already know someone who has lived in in Guangzhuo--Skip's buddy Greggo from college. He did one of his many post-doc stints there. I believe today was probably Kendi's first church service, and I know it was his first experience with Mexican food! He has only recently arrived, so I know he must be super shell shocked, but was just delightful. When we got back to our friends' farm house, he shared with all of us a traditional Chinese moon cake and told the story behind the moon cake.

Our friends will be a great host family and I know both Kendi and they will be blessed by this time. What a great experience for their boys, who are in kindergarten and second grade.

When we were at lunch, another friend who came to church this a.m. commented how "international" lunch was. He commented that he was eating in a Mexican restaurant (run by Mexican immigrants), and eating with an exchange student from China and friends who had just returned from three years in Germany and England. I told him that this kind of gathering was likely to become more the norm than the exception.

There was a woman at church this morning who had lost a grown son only two weeks ago. She told me that she really needed to hear what I had to say this morning. Interestingly enough, I almost always preach the lectionary, but I couldn't really find a groove with the passages for this week, so I kind of just chose one at random. One of those God Things, as a friend of mine would say. So I thought I'd post it here.

The Canaanite Connection

Matthew 15:21-28

Our scripture this morning bothered me for many years. This woman with a demon-possesed child comes to Jesus for his help and he can’t be bothered. He even ends up insulting her.

This is not my kind of story. The Jesus in this story is not my Jesus. My Jesus is the one who touches lepers, who treats women like people, who feeds the hungry, who heals the sick. My Jesus would never treat a woman with a sick child in this manner. So my entire relationship with this particular passage of scripture has been based around the question of why Jesus would behave in this manner.

Perhaps this is supposed to be the story that explains how Jesus realizes that his ministry is meant to go beyond the Jews and reach Gentiles as well. Maybe the whole thing was a set up to provide a teachable moment to the disciples. Maybe Jesus had low blood sugar and it was making him cranky. It doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I’m not so concerned with why Jesus acted as he did. For now, for me, this story is about the faith of a woman.

The faith of a Canaanite woman. A woman who is the other. A woman who doesn’t belong. She is an outcast. She isn’t a part of the people Jesus came to save. She isn’t deserving. But she is pushy and clever and persistent. I like that. She and I. Me and her. We could be friends.

Hers is an active faith. So often when we talk of faith, it’s in a passive, almost resigned way. Have you ever noticed that people tend to say, “Well, you just gotta have faith.” When they don’t know what else to say or do? But this Canaanite woman’s faith isn’t one of resignation, it’s one of action. She wasn’t giving up. Even though she had absolutely no business being there. She was a Canaanite. Jesus wasn’t supposed to touch her or even talk to her. He wasn’t even supposed to be there for her.

But that didn’t stop her, and in the end it earns her something that no other person in the book of Matthew receives. Jesus tells her she has great faith. A pushy broad who loves her child is declared to be a woman of great faith. Maybe this is my kind of story after all.

This story is a good reminder to us all of what theologian Krister Stendahl has suggested—that we are merely honorary Jews. We, too, are the outsiders. We are Gentiles. Paul reminds us in Romans that it is by grace alone that we have been admitted to the ranks of God’s people. We have no right to demand help from Jesus. It is not a right, but a gift of grace.

Like the Canaanite woman in the story, we humbly beg for his mercy. We are the other.
There are times in our walk of faith that we know exactly what it is to be the Canaanite woman.

We come, like the Canaanite woman, when we get a medical diagnosis that changes our life forever.

We come, like the Canaanite woman, when we have desperately tried to follow the path God wants for us but seem to keep taking the wrong turns.

We come, like the Canaanite woman, when we have heard one too many stories of our brothers and sisters meeting violent ends.

We come, like the Canaanite woman, when a relationship falls apart and we don’t seem to have the tools to repair it.

We come, like the Canaanite woman, when we have done everything humanly possible for our children but cannot cast out the demons that possess them.

We know what it is to be the Canaanite woman. When we’ve given up any pretense of being good enough to deserve God’s favor. When we’ve let go of the notion that God owes us anything. When our experiences seem to tell us that God doesn’t care, but our faith demands that we believe that God must indeed care. We know what it is to be the Canannite woman.

Some years ago in Detroit, Nobel Peace Prize winner Elie Wiesel spoke on the subject: "After Auschwitz, Can We Still Believe!" Jews and Gentiles alike filled the great synagogue to listen to the recollections of a man who survived Dachau. Wiesel is a small and fragile man. And he stood at the podium for nearly an hour telling one story after another of the horror and despair of those bleak days in the '30s.

Painfully, silently, the audience relived the events of Wiesel's young life when he was the only surviving member of his family. Finally the stories ceased. His eyes dropped to the floor. There was no sound at all in that mammoth room for what seemed an agonizing eternity. Then he repeated the question, "After Auschwitz, can we still believe?" He shook his head slowly, sadly, "No, no,..." before concluding powerfully, "but we must!" *

We must! Concerning whether or not to have faith, there is no choice. There was none for the Canaanite woman, none for Elie Wiesel, there is none for you and me. There will be times when you believe that being faithful makes no difference. Be faithful anyway. There will be times when it seems like God doesn’t hear you. Call out anyway. There will be times when you feel like God doesn’t love you. Know that you are loved anyway.

Let us be like the Canaanite woman, humbly bold in our faith. Humble enough to know that we don’t deserve God’s grace and mercy, and bold enough to ask for it anyway.

*Retold from Hang In There!, David E. Leininger, Christianglobe Networks, Inc.

Gas Guzzlers

2009-08-15T06:23:00.000-07:00

I have been amazed at how often I have to fill my car up with gas here. I was beginning to think that maybe something was wrong with my little Toyota Matrix. Perhaps the toy car needed a wind-up. But then I realized that without any form of public transport (including the ability to walk), you use up a LOT more gas.

We are so short sighted here in US. No investment in public transport or even in sidewalks or bike lanes. If there was bike lane all the way down Bowman Road, I could ride my bike to do a number of errands. But as the road is now, I can't even walk safely. There's not even a shoulder in some places. More bike lanes and sidewalks could be a double whammy in our effort to be less dependent on oil AND in the growing obesity epidemic.

Our family continues to get settled in. Riddles, the bunny, seems to be the one who is having the hardest time making the adjustment. Not only has he bitten me three times (never did that before), but he fights against being taken out of either of the houses (indoor and outdoor) to be taken out to our little bunny run. Both Skip and I have almost dropped him. I imagine we'll have a "Riddles on the loose" story sometime in the near future. Rosie has made the transition much more smoothly.

We were in the pet store buying food yesterday and looking for something the bunnies could play with in their house. Bunnies are curious creatures and, apparently, get bored if there's not enough stimulation and then they start doing things like chewing up their home. So I was trying to decide between one thing or another and my eight-year-old puts her hand on my arm and says, "Mommy, you worry too much about the bunnies. I mean, it's good that you worry about the bunnies because they are our bunnies. But I think you may worry a little too much." She's getting way too smart.

Maddie is so ready to get back to school. She was telling me that some of her friends think she's crazy for wanting to go back to school and I told her that one of the reasons school is fun for her is that she enjoys learning new things and that, so far, all the new things have been pretty easy for her to understand. I told that for some kids, school is really kind of hard and, therefore, not as much fun. I also pointed out that she makes friends easily and enjoys school because it's time with those friends. She told her Dad that I told her that she enjoys school because her brain is so big. And her father's response to that was, "Oh good. Then there's plenty of room for your German homework!"

Getting There

2009-08-13T01:35:00.000-07:00

The house is beginning to shape up, but there's still a lot to be done. Only one more week until Maddie goes back to school. We're both a little under the weather, so that's not really helping anything.

This past week, in the wake of the death of John Hughes, I've been thinking a lot about Lloyd Dobbler and Ferris Bueller and the athlete, the princess, the basket case, the criminal and the brain. I've been remembering that when I saw Pretty in Pink when I was 16, I was so happy when Molly Ringwald's character ended up with Andrew McCarthy's Blaine, the guy of her dreams. And how when I saw it again at 26, I thought she really blew it, because the Duckman was the real catch.

When Maddie gets a little older, it will be interesting to see if those movies still have something to say. She will be the target audience--the white, suburban teenager--only a couple of generations removed. Surely Lloyd and Ferris are timeless characters. And Samantha's crush in Sixteen Candles is one that will be repeated until the end of time. (I'm guessing that the writers of Hannah Montana came of age on John Hughes movies as well since Hannah/Miley's love interest share's the name of Samantha's--Jake Ryan).

I've read a lot of pieces on Hughes over the last few days, but the most personal one was this op-ed piece from the NT Times.

Gonna try to go close my eyes now. Maddie woke up from a bad dream and I haven't been able to drift back to sleep.

Post Camp Depression

2009-08-01T14:44:00.000-07:00

So camp was really great--good kids, good counselors, good fun. Even with the rain, everyone just trouped along and didn't let it spoil the fun.

One of my favorite moments at camp was after vespers one night. Each night as we dismiss, everyone passes the peace. The first night, the kids are challenged to pass the peace to at least five people and each night the number increases. About mid-way through the week, everyone was in the swing of things and for some reason everyone kind of moved off to the sides and were moving in kind of a circle around the JMo tabernacle. Somehow, one kid found himself in the middle of the circle all alone and he just threw his hands up and shouted, "Would somebody peace of Christ me?!" I mean, come on. Haven't we all had days like that?

So after a week of doing what I'm good at, I come home to a disaster area of a house in dire need of organization and cleaning (two things I am really lousy at). To let you know where we are at this point in the game, Skip was opening up one of the boxes and pulling out books. "Where do you want me to put these?" he asked. I told him that I would love for him to put them in a bookshelf, if he could find space in one. He couldn't. I was hanging up to shirts in his closet and I had pry some other clothes apart just to squeeze them in his closet. And Maddie's stuff. Uggg. She has a closet full of clothes that she will only be able to wear on the weekends once school begins. And I can't even begin to imagine what we're going to do with all her toys and games. Yeah, I'm pretty much ready to head back to camp.

Camp is in Session and the Container is Here

2009-07-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

The container arrived. My cousin's son and his wife came to pick up quite a bit of it. They've just gotten married and were able to buy a house, but don't have any furnishings for it. They were also a big help in picking through the boxes. But even with their help, it's as big a mess as I thought it would be. WAY to much stuff for our house that is already pretty full of stuff. I think that was just beginning to really sink in with my husband when I made my exit to return to camp. I will totally think about all that on Friday...or maybe even Saturday or Sunday.

All the kids are having a great time at camp. I went to college with the parents of at least 6 of the kids here this week. Something about that makes me feel very old. That, and the fact that two of the counselors have called me Ms. Russ since I've been here. Ugggg.

It's taken me until the second night to get my groove on. I've been used to having at least one staff person to help with AV equipment and to help work out the music and to give feedback on the kids and where they are. But this week, everyone is stretched to the max, so one of the counselors has been great about setting up all the AV and the ones who help with the music are also great--but there's no time to really prepare. The lack of help and prep time and info on where I am supposed to be when was really irking me at the start, but then I realized that I just don't want to be that person. You know, the person who gets bent out of shape because things aren't going the way she had planned and/or hoped. So, I've moved to a much more roll-with-it kind of place.

The theme of camp is "Live the Word. Change the World". Trying to instill in the kids a sense of call and build their knowledge of the Bible. It is a challenge to come up with something to say at 9 o'clock at night to 70 kids who have been running hard all day long. You hope just a little bit is sinking in with at least some of them! I showed a clip from Spiderwick Chronicles tonight and while I was making my point afterward on of the kids interrupted with "That goblin looked just like Yoda". So maybe he's not the one I reached tonight.

Great bunch of counselors. Really impressive.

Almost Three Weeks Back

2009-07-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

So we've been back for three weeks and are about to get settled in. Sort of.

Just a quick list of adjustments:

Driving on the right side of the road and not walking to the passenger side when I get in to drive
The amount food prices have risen since we've been gone
The number of obese people I see every day
Not hearing people speaking anything but English.
Having to drive everywhere

It's been great to see friends, and I still haven't caught up with everyone. I don't have a job yet and don't know when I will.

I'm trying not to have a panic when I think about the container (that contains all of our stuff from England) arriving and so far have been staving off any attacks. The container arrives on Monday and Maddie and I will be out at Camp Ferncliff that whole week where Maddie will be a camper and I will be the camp chaplain.

I have been such a pain since we have been back trying to convince Skip and Maddie to go through things and get rid of stuff before this container comes. I've just given up. They don't believe me or they just want to live in denial--I'm not sure which. So now we'll see what happens. Skip and I have identical closets here in the US. His is almost full and mine is over half empty. He also has more clothes coming in on that container than I do. But he is not concerned.

On Monday, I'll do the morning opening time with the kids and then come home to help (Skip is taking off work) and then have to be back out a camp for supper and vespers. Everything else can just wait until we get home.

We watched Akeelah and the Bee with Maddie today. What a great movie. And lots of good lessons for Maddie.

*sometimes people have had so many bad things happen to them that they can't see it when something good is happening
*some kids have parents who don't care and some have parents who push too much
*super supportive people are much more fun to be around than super competitive people
*community is a key and perseverance pays

There was a great quote in the movie that I think I need to print out and tape to my mirror.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

~Nelson Mandela